


Hidden Singer (히든싱어)

by rinnygyu



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 06:45:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17340542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnygyu/pseuds/rinnygyu
Summary: Kim Sunggyu is a successful faceless singer, but what he hates the most is that no one knows who he really is. He lives a normal life on the streets and he lives a life that he thought he wanted, but when he’s about to release his 3rd full length album he has enough. Sunggyu is successful, but it’s only his music that sells. He can’t appear in magazines or shoot music videos with him as the lead. He can’t do anything with his face. It’s only his voice. One day he decides to take part in an audition program to get his face known and he’s confident that even with his looks he can get through. He also made his mind not to change his voice. He will do everything just to stand on that very stage and sing to people. The dream he had since his debut when his identity was taken away from him. Can he break off and come out from the darkness into the light? Nam Woohyun is a successful solo singer who made it big right away after his debut two years ago and he’s a big fan of SG, the hidden singer. He loves his music and the reason that inspired him to become a singer. He decides to find out who SG really is and thank him personally. Can he find out SG’s real identity?





	1. 밝히지 못해… 숨어서 산다 (Can't be exposed... Living while hiding)

**Author's Note:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> My first chaptered Woogyu fic~ After reading so many good Woogyu stories and watching variety show Hidden Singer gave me the push to write this ^^ There used to be a lot of really talented faceless singers back in the past in Korea like K.Will, Kim Gunmo, Jo Sung Mo, Kim Bum Soo etc. and as I was inspired by that I needed to write this ^^ Unfortunately there's still faceless singers that just make songs without singing in public and the thought really eats me so I wrote this to ease my pain a little.
> 
> I hope you like it~
> 
> ©RinnyGyu
> 
> Author's note: The people in this story may be real human beings, but this story has nothing to do with real life. This plot is mine and if someone finds similarities to other stories then forgive me, but I haven't read a story like this at all so the idea came completely from my own imagination. All of this is fiction and if you're sensitive to reading boyxboy fics then unfortuantely this is not for you ^^ Otherwise enjoy!
> 
> Love, Author RinnyGyu
> 
> (Originally posted to AsianFanfics, Published Nov 10, 2013 and ended at Jan 3, 2015)  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunggyu just finished recording for his 3rd album and he fell down on the couch exhausted. He’s been recording for days straight with only 4 hours of sleep and some meal breaks. He was tired, need of a shower and starving. He got up from the couch and thanked the producer and songwriters who were present, leaving the studio. He went to the common area to pick up his things and check his phone. He noticed a text from Dongwoo, his best friend, asking to go out for a drink. He smiled and replied that he’ll be there soon, getting his things before going home. He stepped into his brand new car as he sped off towards him home to get changed. He turned on the radio to listen one of the programs and he turned up the volume when they were talking about him.

“So as we’ve gotten a hint solo singer SG will make his comeback soon with his 3rd full length album. I’m sure you all are waiting for him, right? I really hope I get him to join my radio show some time soon. SG-sshi! If you’re hearing this I hope you’ll come as a guest soon, okay?” the cute female voice chuckled before she continued with some other topics. Sunggyu sighed and turned off the radio, putting on some blasting rock music. He drove a while before arriving at his apartment. He lived spaciously in modest luxury that was just for him. He went up to his apartment and opened the door, welcomed with a fresh smell of roses. “The cleaning lady was here…” he said to himself before he entered the apartment, heading straightly to the shower to get himself cleaned up. He got out from the shower and started to dress into something neat and comfortable. 

He settled for ripped jeans, a pair of Converse shoes and a simple button up shirt. He took his keys, cellphone and wallet before exiting the apartment. He left his car as he would take the taxi, going down the street to catch one. A taxi stopped next to him a moment later and he jumped in. He said where to go and picked up his phone to call Dongwoo. “I’m coming now… I just finished recording so it took a while. Okay I’ll be there in 15. Don’t order without me!” he yelled into the phone before he laughed and ended the phone call. He looked outside at the Seoul night view and he couldn’t help but to sigh as he looked at the people on the streets. The taxi came to a stop and he paid the driver, getting off before walking inside to his and Dongwoo’s favorite hangout place Infinite. The place was held by Dongwoo’s longtime boyfriend Hoya who was also in the music business as a dance instructor with Dongwoo. That’s how those two met.

Sunggyu walked over to Dongwoo and hugged him tightly when the other man stood up, holding each other before taking a seat. “Hyung! I haven’t seen you in over three weeks and I was getting worried you had passed out in the studio or something” Dongwoo exclaimed and started ranting before Hoya sitting next to him laid his hand on his shoulder, calming him down immediately. Sunggyu could only chuckle at those two as they seemed so cute like that. He sighed as he wondered what was it like to be in a relationship after being single for over a year. Suddenly a loud bang was heard from the kitchen and Sunggyu could see Hoya was fuming before leaving the table. “Yah Lee Sungyeol!” Sunggyu flinched at Hoya’s shout before turning to Dongwoo. “I assume there’s a new part-time worker?”

Dongwoo nodded with a smile. “Yeah Lee Sungyeol, he’s an acting student or so Hoya told me. He seems pretty hardworking, but he’s a little clumsy” Dongwoo chuckled as he turned to look at Hoya who was scolding Sungyeol. He turned his head over to Dongwoo for a moment and his expression got soft. Sunggyu looked at Dongwoo and he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but it calmed Hoya down. This relationship works both ways obviously. He shook his head as he grabbed a shot glass and poured himself some soju.

After Sunggyu drank one bottle all by himself he was felling tipsy, leaning his head on Dongwoo’s shoulder who was also a bit drunk. “Dongwoo-yah… Why won’t they debut me as Kim Sunggyu? I mean the people already love SG as he is with his voice and all, but why can’t I just be myself? I’m not ugly, I take care of myself, I’m not fat, I can sing on stage and I can do lots of things, but still they prefer that I stay hidden” Sunggyu slurred before poking Dongwoo’s head to see if he was listening. Dongwoo raised his head and had another shot before pointing the shot glass at Sunggyu. “I know why they won’t debut you with a face… Your appearance… It’s lacking something” Dongwoo said honestly which made Sunggyu sigh, taking the shot glass and pouring the liquor down his throat. 

“Still there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m fun to be with. I would do really well on variety shows and I would definitely get some permanent guest appearances if they just let me appear on them. Dongwoo-yah, should I just start looking for another agency?” he asked seriously, making the younger man almost spit out his drink. “Yah! Are you insane!? You make more money now that you could ever make just by singing, isn’t that enough?” Dongwoo asked seriously, his tipsiness obviously fading by the comment Sunggyu just made. He wrapped an arm around his friend and whispered to him. “So you’re willing to risk your income just to try if you could debut as a singer with a face? Get real hyung! Besides you can go out drinking, have fun, hang out with your friends and date openly without anyone knowing who you are. Isn’t that one of the plus sides you told me before?” Dongwoo asked seriously before breaking away from Sunggyu, pouring them drinks before raising his glass. “After this we’re going clubbing, understood? And then you realize what you’ll miss if you risk everything” Dongwoo raised his glass and drank the soju in it, almost slamming the shot glass on the table as he put it down.

Sunggyu hesitated before he drank his shot, putting the glass back onto the table. He turned over to the kitchen as Hoya was walking over, giving him puppy eyes. “Howon-ah, your boyfriend is going to take me clubbing please stop him” he pleaded from his other friend who chuckled and sat down next to his boyfriend, stroking Dongwoo’s hair. “Baby, you know how much Sunggyu-hyung hates clubs. We’ll go together after I brief Daeryoung-hyung how to close the place, okay?” Dongwoo’s eyes lit up when Hoya mentioned he would go with him, smiling widely and getting all giddy again. Sunggyu sighed out of relief before he checked the time on his wrist watch. “Guys, I need to get going. I have a meeting with the CEO in the morning and I need some sleep. I’ll see you again soon. I promise” he smiled at the couple before getting up from the table and leaving the restaurant.

He walked over to the main street in hope to grab a cab, but he saw none. He was getting a little anxious before a guy stood next to him obviously trying to get a cab as well. He saw one coming that was free and waved his hand, making the cab stop. He opened the door before the other guy stepped closer and looked at him. “Where are you headed? I was thinking if we could share the same cab as they seem not to go by that often” The man smiled at Sunggyu who nodded and left the door open when getting in.

“Ahjusshi, to Cheongdamdong Ahram Apartment, please” he said to the driver as the cab took off, turning to the guy who was chuckling. Sunggyu raised his eyebrows and looked at him closely. “You live there too, right?” the other guy stopped chuckling and was slightly astonished. “How did you know?” the other guy was a little shocked, but smiled nonetheless. “If you didn’t live there you probably would have just nodded and let it pass, but hearing the place where you live in you thought it was weird, right?” Sunggyu chuckled back and extended his hand. “I’m Kim Sunggyu and I live at building 105. How about you?” the other guy shook his hand and smiled back. “I’m John Park and I live at building 109” he introduced himself before looking at Sunggyu closely. “You look quite young. How old are you if I can ask?” John leaned against the door while looking at Sunggyu closely who was a little intimidated by the strong look.

“I’m 25 and you look older than me by couple years probably?” he asked back which John replied with a nod and a smile. “Just one year actually. I’m 26 so that means I’m a hyung to you. Just call me comfortably as John-hyung as we’re neighbors after all” John smiled at Sunggyu who smiled back and those two locked their gazes for a moment before turning heads away to look out from the window. Sunggyu had to bite his lip to contain the rush in his veins as he really wanted to touch the other man. John was first to make a move as he turned to look at Sunggyu while slightly touching his hand with his fingertips. He moved his hand away the moment his fingers touched the skin on Sunggyu’s palm and he immediately looked apologetic, but he didn’t say a word. Sunggyu had to bite the inside of his cheek when he felt the tingle of electricity from John’s touch. He looked at John and reached out to grab his hand, gently touching the older man’s palm with his fingertips before grabbing his hand.

John turned to look at Sunggyu with a slight hint of amazement in his features. He never thought Sunggyu would show interest to him which made him happy in a way too. He grabbed Sunggyu’s hand tightly before leaning closer to whisper into his ear. “Want to come over and have a drink?” he hinted while breathing against Sunggyu’s ear which turned red. Sunggyu looked at John and nodded, noticing that they had arrived to the complex entrance. He was getting out his wallet when John let go from his hand, paying the driver first and opening the door to get off. Sunggyu got off from the cab and stood up, looking at John who was smiling at him, nodding to the direction of the building he lived in. “Let’s go” the older man said before starting to walk ahead, Sunggyu following behind him.

They got up to John’s apartment and the older man removed his coat, putting it on one of the barstools in the kitchen island. He opened the fridge and turned to Sunggyu “I have beer, wine, soju and whiskey. Which one do you want?” John smiled at the other man and Sunggyu seemed to have pondered what to drink before deciding. “Whiskey would be good, thanks” he smiled back before sitting on the couch. John got two glasses with ice before fetching the bottle of whiskey from one of the cabinets and put it on the table. He poured drinks for them before he took a sip from his own glass. He sat comfortably on the couch while looking at Sunggyu. “So Sunggyu… What do you do for living?” he asked out of curiosity and Sunggyu followed John’s example on sitting comfortably on the couch while swirling the alcohol in the glass with the ice. “I work in the entertainment business. It’s actually quite complicated what I do so I don’t want to explain it much further” he said honestly before smiling, looking at John “How about you hyung?”

John smiled while taking a sip from his drink again, looking at Sunggyu. “You haven’t seen me before? Anywhere?” he asked with a hint of amusement in his voice and Sunggyu couldn’t help but to lower his head and shake it, really not knowing who John was. John felt sorry for Sunggyu and put his glass down on the coffee table, scooting closer while putting some hair away from Sunggyu’s face. “I’m a singer, Sunggyu… But I suppose you haven’t seen me anywhere not to know that. I haven’t been in the field for that long so you couldn’t possibly know. I used to live in America before I was casted out of American Idol” the other man smiled and Sunggyu lifted his head, shock evident in his eyes before blushing madly out of embarrassment. “I know who you are. You just released your new album, right? I’m so sorry hyung that I didn’t know. I don’t really pay attention to entertainment news or listen to mainstream music that much, but I know your latest work. I’m sorry…” Sunggyu hid his face from the other man, but John lifted Sunggyu’s chin and looked into his eyes with a smile.

“It’s okay I mean it… Just before we met actually I met some fans, but managed to escape from them so you actually saved me when sharing the cab. I should thank you instead…” John leaned closer to Sunggyu before pressing his lips against his, kissing him softly which Sunggyu responded to. Sunggyu put his glass down on the coffee table before wrapping his arms around John’s neck, pulling him closer. John scooted closer, putting some more force on the kiss and licking Sunggyu’s lips to open his mouth. The younger man opened his lips after the request and their tongues started to grind against each other, the kiss heating up even more. Sunggyu leaned back against the armrest on the couch, pulling John down with him as they kept kissing. After a while they both broke the kiss for some air, both panting with their eyes closed.

Sunggyu was the first to open his eyes and look at John on top of him, who cupped his cheek before fixing strands of hair from his face, smiling at him. “Hyung… Are you sure this is okay? You’re a top star and everything after all…” Sunggyu bit his lip and looked at the other man who opened his eyes and looked at him, smiling back. “A top star can have his private life, right? Don’t worry about it, Sunggyu… Let’s have some fun tonight, hm?” John’s eyes glinted with lust as he looked down at Sunggyu who licked his lips and gave a small nod, immediately closing his eyes when their lips met for another passionate kiss.

Sometime along the night they moved over to John’s bedroom, stripped off their clothes and had some fun like John said, but the fact that John was a top star was really eating Sunggyu. He’s just a normal citizen to everyone else but to his company and his friends who really know who he is, but he lives a hidden life from others. He can’t say who he really is and the fact that he just spent some intimate time with one of the top stars he can’t help, but to feel burdened. Sunggyu woke up the next morning before John and he put on his clothes, writing a small message on a piece of paper that said: “John-hyung. Last night was wonderful and if you ever want to meet up just call me. Here’s my number so call me anytime”

Sunggyu exited the apartment after leaving the note, going to his own apartment to have a shower and get redressed as he would have a meeting with the CEO later. He got out from the shower and checked his phone, already a message from John. Sunggyu had to smile after seeing the message; “I really had fun last night and thank you for coming over. I’ll buy you dinner sometime so let’s meet again. Save my number and call me anytime” Sunggyu chuckled before replying back. “Dinner? Call! I’m sorry I had to leave earlier, but I had to get ready for a meeting with the CEO later. Let me know when you’re free so we can meet. Enjoy your day, hyung!” Sunggyu sent back before heading to his walk-in closet to pick clothes for that day. He picked a pair of jeans with a comfortable printed t-shirt, a jacket over the shirt with a pair of shoes. He styled his hair so it was a little frizzy and took a pair of sunglasses as well. He got ready while taking his bag with his car keys, heading to the parking lot in the basement to fetch his car.

He got into his car and drove off to Nell Entertainment where he would have a meeting with the CEO concerning his new album. He parked his car before entering the building, greeting the staff there with a smile while heading upstairs to the meeting room. He got inside and took a seat, his CEO arriving a moment later. Kim Jongwan was a good man, but he was dead serious when it came to music and that was the key to Sunggyu’s success. He really worked hard for his artists. He took a seat next to Sunggyu while waiting for the other staff to arrive. Sunggyu stood up to bow at the CEO before taking a seat again.

The meeting ended well with deciding on Sunggyu’s album cover concept and music video for his title song. Sunggyu was really pleased with the outcome, but he needed to get out his desire to come out and show who he is. After everyone else had left and it was just him and his CEO he stood up and got down on his knees. “Sajang-nim… Can’t I release this album with my face? It’s been 4 years since I debuted and no one knows how I look like. I thought I got used to the fact that I’m a singer without a face, but I’m getting sick of it, sajang-nim. Can’t I debut with a face?” Sunggyu lowered his head to show how serious he’s about this. Kim Jongwan patted Sunggyu’s back and sighed. “You know why I can’t do that, Sunggyu-yah… You really want to crush your fans image on you? I know you want to sing on stage in front of your fans, but you know that there’s a downside to it. You can lose some of your fame. That’s the key to your success. You’re mysterious and your voice is known, but not your face. You would just disappoint your fans” Kim Jongwan was trying to be reasonable and tried to talk Sunggyu out of it, but no use. Sunggyu lifted his head, tears evident in his eyes.

“But K.Will hyung is successful after his face got known! He lived as a faceless singer for years before he made his face known and look how successful he is. I’m willing to risk everything, because I just want to sing on stage. I want to sing live…” Sunggyu pleaded from the CEO who just stood up from his chair, looking down at Sunggyu. “Is this how you thank me, Sunggyu-yah? I’ve made you what you are today. A successful singer and that’s what you wanted when you signed with me, right? You agreed to the conditions and I’m sticking to them! If you’re this ungrateful then find an agency who can debut you with a face… I’m disappointed in you Sunggyu for betraying me like this. I thought you liked living a free life with no worries of people recognizing you, but I suppose you got greedy for fame, right? Such a shame…” Kim Jongwan turned away from Sunggyu and started to walk away, slamming the door close after he left the meeting room.

Sunggyu tried to hold his tears after his CEO left, feeling hurt by his harsh words which were the truth. He agreed to all this and he agreed to sing without a face. It was his fault from the beginning, but being greedy on becoming a singer he chose the only option he had. Maybe he was destined to live like this until the day comes when his face would be known, but he can’t give up now. He’ll find a way to show his face and show his CEO that he can make it even when people recognize him. He will prove him wrong…

Sunggyu returned back to his apartment and first thing he crashed on the couch, hiding his face with a pillow. He felt so pathetic on being like this. He can’t tell that he’s a singer other than to his family and close friends, but if he dates someone or meets someone they can never know whom he really is. Sunggyu sighed before throwing the pillow somewhere in his living room, sitting up as he ruffled his curly hair and made it even more disarranged. He looked down at his hands, imagining that it was holding a microphone and it just brought a stinging feeling to his chest. He needs to find a stage where he can sing and he doesn’t care who finds out whom he is, because they won’t. His fans don’t know his face, but his voice might blow the cover. Sunggyu needed to think this through really precisely before he gets into action.


	2. 더이상 이렇게 못 살아! (I can't live like this anymore!)

Woohyun was flipping through a magazine while he was waiting his hair to get done, sighing he pulled out his cellphone and plugged in his earphones, turning the music on. He immediately looked for SG’s songs as he started to listen to one of his favorite songs Because. The song always brought a smile to Woohyun’s lips even though the song’s message was quite melodramatic, but he loved it anyway. He felt calm when listening to the soothing voice and he didn’t even notice someone tapping his shoulder as he was so immersed into the song. He felt another stronger tap on his shoulder and he immediately turned to the direction of the touch, sighing at the other man. “Aww come on Dongwoon! Just let me enjoy my moment of silence once in a while” he nagged at his friend who only chuckled and sat on the seat next to Woohyun.

“I heard that you’re going to be a judge on this audition show that starts tomorrow. Isn’t that great, Woohyun?” Dongwoon asked with a smile on his lips while looking at the song Woohyun was listening to. “You really like SG that much? Yah, I wonder why they won’t reveal his face even though he’s been a singer for four years and I heard he’s coming back with a new album soon” Dongwoon sighed and shook his head, looking at his friend while nudging him. “Consider yourself lucky, Woohyun-ah. You actually get to meet your fans, talk to them, perform in front of them, but this guy…” Dongwoon frowned before continuing “He’s stuck in just recording and picking the songs with nothing else in his celebrity life. He must be lonely” he really felt sorry for Woohyun’s favorite singer, being in the industry himself he liked the publicity though it had its downsides.

Woohyun bit his lip and sighed too while listening to his friend. True he had what SG didn’t, but there was one thing what SG had that he didn’t. Woohyun had been a singer for only a little over two years, but just by listening to SG’s voice he was able to feel so many emotions that he couldn’t express when he was singing. “I’m going to find out his real identity and bring him to sing on stage. He needs to feel the love of his fans and feel what you and me feel when being on it. I bet he would love it. That’s why I’m going to find out who he really is…” Woohyun started to ponder how he could find out who SG really is and bring him into the light. It’s the only thing he could do to his number one inspiration. He would be lying if he didn’t have a fanboy crush on him, but he really wanted to help.

Sunggyu was walking in the streets of Cheongdamdong just hanging out by himself when he noticed some big flyers displayed on the light posts. “Super Audition, winner gets 50 million won, possibility to on-spot casting with major labels. He bit his lip as he took out his cellphone, taking a picture of the ad before he continued on his way. He quickly returned back home and opened his computer, immediately looking into this super audition they were having. Truth is he doesn’t need the money, but the opportunity to perform and if he does well he can get until finals to reveal who he is. He looked at the articles and found out the audition schedule. He needed to attend the audition tomorrow and hope that he would be picked to the next round.

He picked up his phone and called a familiar number on his phone, smiling when a groggy voice answered in the other end. “Hello?” he chuckled after hearing the voice “Yah Kim Myungsoo! Where you sleeping just now?” he had to hold in his laughter when the other man kept moaning, obviously still half asleep. “Hyung, why are you calling me 8 in the morning on Saturday? We were supposed to meet later, right? Why call me now?” he whined in the other end, rolling onto his back as he waited for Sunggyu’s reply. “I need you to tell me about this Star Audition they’re having in few weeks. Who are the judges?” Sunggyu waited his friend to answer who moaned again, obviously trying to fight the sleep. “Hmm… Well there’s Kim Jaejoong from JYJ, Son Dambi and that quite new solo singer Nam Woohyun… Why? Are you thinking of participating, hyung?”

Myungsoo stood up from the bed and took a glance at his sleeping boyfriend before he went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He sat on one of the stools next to the kitchen island while waiting for a reply. “Yeah, I’m thinking of participating and it’s good to know that the judges are pretty easy so I get pretty far. Seriously Myungsoo I’m getting sick of this secrecy my CEO has with my career. I begged him to debut me with a face with my new album coming, but he said I was disrespectful and that he was disappointed in me. I don’t have any other choice, but to try the options I can find…” Sunggyu sighed as he sat down on the couch, sipping his cup of tea. Myungsoo rubbed his eyes as he listened, nodding. “You do know that if your CEO finds out about your stunt he can nullify your contract? This is serious hyung have you thought it through?”

Myungsoo sighed as he poured himself a cup of coffee, going to their veranda to take a seat there. He opened the glass doors and let the warm summer breeze come in, sitting down while sipping his coffee. “Hyung? You still there?” he asked as there was no response on the other end. Then he heard a sigh and smiled a little. “I know Myungsoo-yah and I’m not kidding about this. I’m willing to risk this just to stand on stage and sing. That’s my death wish to sing as Kim Sunggyu in front of people who know my music, but don’t know my face” Sunggyu said softly, finishing his cup of tea and putting the cup on the coffee table, turning on his stereo system to put on some music. Myungsoo nodded along his hyung’s words before he chuckled “Then you need to do it. Just do it then. But you know the moment you pass those auditions there’s no turning back. You need to go to the very end, right? I believe in you hyung. Now let me go and wake up my boyfriend so we can get ready and meet you later. Remember to practice, practice and practice some more because you have a tough competition ahead of you”

Myungsoo smiled before going back to the bedroom, sitting next to his boyfriend and seeing he was still asleep. He sighed softly while stroking Sungjong’s hair. “I’ll see you later hyung. We’ll meet you at the usual spot, bye” he ended the phone call after Sunggyu hummed an okay in the other end and turned back to his boyfriend. He lay down next to Sungjong while looking at his peaceful face. “Jongie… Wake up, baby” he said softly, leaning to kiss the other man on the lips gently. Sungjong stirred in his sleep and buried his face further into the pillow while he mumbled some incoherent words. Myungsoo couldn’t help but to laugh lightly at his boyfriend’s cute actions, scooting closer to wrap his arms around him. “Jongie-ah, wake up” he hugged Sungjong close who turned to his side and wrapped his arms around Myungsoo, breathing against his chest.

“Myungie, can’t I sleep some more, please?” Sungjong mumbled against the other’s skin, nuzzling his face against the other man’s soft t-shirt while inhaling his scent. Myungsoo smiled at his boyfriend’s cute actions, holding him tightly while kissing his hair. “If I let you sleep now I’ll fall asleep too and we don’t get to go out on our morning walk, remember? It’s our Saturday tradition to go to our favorite coffee shop to drink some coffee, eat those delicious ham sandwiches and finishing the set with your favorite lemon cheesecake. So get up and wash up so we can go” the other man chuckled and lowered his hand over Sungjong’s butt, giving it a slight slap and earning a yelp in return.

Sungjong pouted as he lifted his face to look at Myungsoo. “You’re mean” he whined before he tried to sit up, but Myungsoo pulled him down to the bed, showering his face with kisses. “I love you Sungjong-ah” he said softly as he stopped kissing his boyfriend’s face before he leaned in for a deeper kiss. After that he broke away and stood up. “Wash up. I’ll go watch the morning news” he smiled and stood up, going to the living room and turning on the TV, watching the news. He sighed to himself as he thought about Sunggyu’s plan. He was happy that his hyung finally gathered the courage to go against his company, but things won’t be easy. He wondered what would happen to him in the end.

Sungjong couldn’t stop blushing at his boyfriend’s actions and the smile that crept on his lips wouldn’t just go away. He was so happy to feel so loved and he couldn’t wish for a better boyfriend than Myungsoo. He took a shower and wrapped himself in his bathrobe while walking into the living room, sitting down next to Myungsoo and leaning his head against his shoulder. “You didn’t let me reply before” he pouted before straightening his back, pressing his nose against Myungsoo’s cheek. “I love you too” he pecked the other’s cheek with a smile before standing up and going to their bedroom to get dressed. Myungsoo smiled at the other’s adorable display of affection, standing from the couch to take a shower too. After they had showered and got dressed they headed out for their Saturday tradition breakfast.

Woohyun was enjoying his day off while walking along the streets of Cheongdamdong, looking for Nell Entertainment in hope to see SG. He bit his lip as he walked to the main entrance of the building, going inside from the sliding doors to a very sleek looking reception. He walked to the counter and smiled to the receptionist. “I’m sorry, but is Kim Jongwan sajang-nim in the office today? I would like to see him for a bit” Woohyun said politely with a charming smile and the female receptionist obviously was infatuated by him because she grabbed the phone and called somewhere. She asked a few questions before turning back to the phone after taking a glance at the man in front of her “It’s singer Nam Woohyun who wishes to see him” she nodded and ended the call, turning to Woohyun.

“You only have a moment unfortunately as he has a place to attend to in an hour. You can go up to 7th floor and it’s the third office on the left from the elevators” she bowed with a smile. Woohyun smiled and nodded at her, giving a wink as a service. “I only need a moment, thank you” he went to the elevators and rode up to the 7th floor, finding the office with the instruction. He knocked on the door before it was opened, showing a slightly shorter man than Woohyun smiling at him. “What a surprise to see you, Nam Woohyun-sshi. What brings you here?” Kim Jongwan moved away from the door, sitting behind his desk while looking at his papers.

Woohyun smiled back and entered the office before taking a seat on one of the armchairs. “I’m actually here to ask something. I know SG is a singer under your label and for the past 4 years I’ve been dying to know who he is. So I’m here to ask for a meeting with him. Of course I’ll write all disclosure agreements or whatever you need from me to keep his identity as a secret. I just need to meet him and thank him personally for inspiring me” Woohyun said in all honesty which was replied with a chuckle. Kim Jongwan stood up from his chair and walked over to Woohyun, taking a seat in front of him. “I can very well pass on your very warm words to him. Why must you thank him personally?” he asked a little amused because this was the first time ever someone bothered to come to him to ask for a meeting with Sunggyu.

Woohyun took a deep breath while looking at the older man in front of him. “I want to thank him, because he’s the reason I became a singer. His voice gave me hope that even unique voices can move people’s hearts and he’s just special to me. Please let me meet him. You can decide the place if it’s necessary” he begged gently before lowering his head, trying to be sincere with his wishes. Kim Jongwan thought for a moment while rubbing his chin before he nodded. “Very well then, I’ll organize a meeting with you and him. But before meeting him I need you to write a disclosure agreement that nothing will be spread to the press. You wouldn’t want to destroy his image, right? After all if you claim to be sincerely in debt to him that’s the least you can do” the older man stood up before walking to his desk, giving Woohyun his card with his contact information. “I’ll organize the meeting this weekend so call me on Monday at noon. I’ll let you know the further information then” he smiled before taking his belongings and walking to the door. He turned to take one final look on Woohyun, smiling at him. “I hope you won’t be disappointed” he said before leaving.

Woohyun slummed down on the chair, feeling all energy being drained from him. Kim Jongwan was a strong charismatic personality and now he knew why people said he was like that. It’s his business image after all. Woohyun took a deep breath before he finally stood up and exited the office. He went down to the lobby, winking at the receptionist again before going outside. He started to walk down the streets, holding a hand on his chest over his heart as he felt so weak all of a sudden. He looked at his hand and saw that it was shaking. He would really get to meet SG the person who inspired him. It was his dream and now he was finally able to make that become a reality now that he’s a singer himself. Woohyun took a deep breath before he started to walk away from the building, going back home to enjoy his day off.

Sunggyu was looking through the internet for auditioning videos and trying to get some tips on what he should do, but then he realized that if he’s fake then he most likely will be eliminated. He knew he had to be real and really show them that he deserves to go through so he made a decision to just be himself. No tricks or anything, just himself as he is. He sighed again as he went through his music files to pick a song he would sing. If he sings his own song then it’s too obvious so he decided he would pick a song he had confidence to sing. After pondering for a while he picked Xia’s Rainy Eyes and went into his own home-made studio. He printed the music sheets from the internet and looked up the MR track for the song, starting to practice for tomorrow.

He kept singing and singing, trying to make it sound good and he didn’t even notice that it was almost time to meet Myungsoo for dinner. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, informing an incoming message. His eyes went wide when he saw it was from Myungsoo, saying they were already there waiting for him. He cursed and quickly got dressed before heading outside. Luckily they met just near his place so he could easily go there fast. He entered a traditional Korean restaurant and saw Sungjong and Myungsoo already seated. He smiled at the couple and walked over. “I’m so sorry I’m late, guys. I got so into practicing that I didn’t even notice the time” he turned to Sungjong and gave him a hug, hugging Myungsoo afterwards. “So long time no see both of you, how’s life for you?” he sat down and raised his hand to make his order.

Sungjong smiled at Sunggyu and shook his head. “It’s okay hyung I know how you work when you work and we’re good nothing much” he chuckled and took a sip from his water, turning to his boyfriend and taking his hand. Sungjong and Myungsoo have been Sunggyu’s friends for a long time. Sunggyu and Myungsoo met through while working for a charity event as part-time workers just before Sunggyu debuted. While Hoya and Dongwoo were there to perform with their other dance school members. They had just won a national dance competition so they were invited to perform there. 

After Myungsoo was accepted to Seoul Arts University to study photography he started to make his name known. He became a famous fashion photographer even before his graduation and that’s where he met Sungjong, who was the main model of his first official photo shoot. They fell for each other right there, but they were both scared back then if the other didn’t feel the same way. Things became clear when Myungsoo witnessed Sungjong having a fight with his ex-boyfriend about him. That’s when Myungsoo swept Sungjong off his feet by meddling into the fight to protect Sungjong. He got hit a few times, but it was worth it. It felt a little unreal how things turned out, but after getting rid of Sungjong’s ex they confessed their feelings for each other and started to date. They’ve been together for almost two years now and Sunggyu is always jealous of them, because they’re so perfect for each other. 

They made their orders and started to wait for their food, Myungsoo leaning over to Sunggyu. “Hyung, are you really sure about this audition? It’s a huge risk and it won’t be easy to explain yourself after that” he said out of concern, but Sunggyu just placed his hand on his shoulder before he smiled. “I know it’s a huge risk, but I’m willing to take it. If I don’t have any other opportunity to get myself known then there’s nothing else I can do. This is my only way out down the path I want to take” Sunggyu said seriously before opening the bottle of soju that was carried to the table, opening the cork before pouring drinks for them. He raised his glass with a smile while looking at Myungsoo and Sungjong. “To my new challenge and to love, cheers” he clang his shot glass with the other two before drinking the strong liquid.

Myungsoo shook his head before downing the drink, hissing at the strong taste of the alcohol. The night kept going on while eating, drinking and talking. Sunggyu would be lying if he wasn’t envious of Myungsoo’s and Sungjong’s relationship. They were dating openly though both being public figures with careers, but amazingly people accepted their relationship. That’s what Sunggyu was envious of. He wanted to date someone and make the people acknowledge their relationship to date openly, but he knew that it would be harder with an actor or a singer. You can jeopardize your career if you come out being openly gay.

Sunggyu kept drinking until he noticed he had drunk enough, swaying in his seat. He placed some money on the table before he turned to the lovey dovey couple who were hugging each other while laughing at each other. “Guys, I’m heading home now. Use this to pay for the food and drinks, there’s also money for your taxi drive so take care. I’ll call you later Myungsoo to tell you how things went” Sunggyu smiled before ruffling Myungsoo’s hair, walking out with uneasy steps before he started to head home. He kept walking for a while before he started to feel sick, leaning against the brick wall outside some store, lowering his head. He took deep breaths to calm his stomach down, but it didn’t help. He ended throwing up on the street and suddenly he felt someone patting his back to let it all out.

After his stomach calmed down he turned to the person who was patting his back, eyes widening in shock when he noticed who it was. “Nam Woohyun…” the name came from his lips without even realizing and when he noticed that he said the name out loud he quickly took his handkerchief from his pocket to cover his mouth. The younger man had an amused expression on his face before he straightened his back to look at Sunggyu. “I’m glad that you’re not that drunk not to know who I am” he chuckled before smiling at Sunggyu. “Can you get back home by yourself or should I walk you home? I live nearby and I was out on my night walk so I don’t have much to do anyway” he said softly and Sunggyu just blushed dark red from the other man’s concern. Sunggyu was also a fan of Nam Woohyun after seeing him perform live when he had just debuted and he liked the man’s voice. He shook his head and kept covering his face, clearing his throat. “No I’m good, I can handle myself” he said confidently before he stood up and bowed before walking to the opposite direction where he was going to as he tried to get away from Woohyun.

Woohyun chuckled at the other man’s antics and shook his head before he continued to walk to the direction where Sunggyu was originally going to. He had to admit that the man was quite interesting and secretly hoped that they would meet again someday.


	3. 가면을 벗기 위한 도전 (A challenge to remove the mask)

Sunggyu took another route back home after running to Woohyun and he had to admit that it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. Woohyun is going to be one of the judges if he passes the preliminary auditions and seeing him like that never leaves a good impression. He sighed as he was just passing the park next to his apartment building. He saw someone sitting in one of the benches and noticed that it was John. He walked closer and noticed he was talking on the phone. He bit his lip, debating if he should go to him or walk away, but John beat him to it. “Sunggyu!” he shouted from the bench and lifted his hand to usher the man closer, saying goodbyes to the person on the phone before hanging up. He patted the empty seat next to him before taking a sip from his can of beer.

“You went out somewhere? It’s very later after all” John said softly before finishing the can and putting it on the bench. Sunggyu nodded before fixing his hair. “I went out drinking with my close friends, drank too much, threw up on the sidewalk, met Nam Woohyun, ran away as fast as I could and came here. Now I met you hyung” he chuckled while scratching his neck. He bit his lip while looking at the other man next to him who was smiling. “You met Nam Woohyun? He lives just nearby here” John said softly while leaning closer to Sunggyu. Sunggyu smiled back and nodded. “He witnessed me throwing up and said he would walk me home, but I ran away. You know him?” Sunggyu was a little astonished by hearing John say that he lives near here. “Yeah, we’re good friends. Why? Should I introduce you again in better circumstances?” he joked a little, turning Sunggyu pale.

“No, there’s no need to, thanks anyway hyung” Sunggyu smiled before he shifted in his seat, noticing John was moving closer. He pressed his lips on Sunggyu’s temple to give a small peck. “How have you been lately anyway? Haven’t heard of you since that morning” John asked and he sounded a little hurt that Sunggyu hasn’t kept in touch. “I’m sorry hyung. I’ve had so many things in my hands. One of our artists at the label is going to release an album and I’ve been busy preparing things for it.” Sunggyu said with a soft smile, really tempted to kiss John’s lips as he felt really alone after meeting Sungjong and Myungsoo. Those two lovebirds always managed to make him jealous that he wasn’t dating anyone. It’s been a year since he dated after all. He kind of missed his ex-boyfriend sometimes, but it was better that they separated. There weren’t feelings involved in the end anyway.

John smiled affectionately before he rested his arm on Sunggyu’s shoulders, staying close to him. “It’s okay I understand. It’s partly my fault too because I could have called you first too. But things always get in the way. You must be tired after drinking so much, just go up and rest. I’ll go home too” the older man said before standing up and taking his trash, waving at Sunggyu before he walked away. Sunggyu let out a deep breath with a shook of a head. He should find someone soon to get rid of his affection for John. He’s obviously getting attached to him and it’s scaring him a little. He stood up before walking home, crashing on the bed after he removed his clothes and fell asleep immediately.

Sunggyu woke up next morning to an enormous headache from last night. He shuffled over to the kitchen to take some pain killers before he walked to the bathroom to take a shower. He checked the time on his cellphone after he had washed and returned to his bedroom to check his cellphone. He sighed as he would have to hurry to the auditions. He quickly went to his walk-in closet, picking up simple but tidy clothes. He settled for black jeans, white button up shirt and a pair of black sneakers. He finished his hair in slightly messy style, giving a slight bad boy vibe. He applied bb cream only slightly before grabbing a pair of sunglasses. He took his belongings before heading outside, leaving his car home because driving in a posh BMW would just make him more noticeable. He tried to be as normal as possible, well himself.

He arrived at the audition place and went inside, looking around him curiously. He arrived at the counter and took the necessary papers and filled them up before returning them and receiving his number. Sunggyu pasted the number sticker on his chest before he went down to sit and wait for his turn. He took out his phone, plugged in his earphones before he went through the song one more time again. He hummed to Xia’s Rainy Eyes that he picked up for this audition, going through the lyrics that he won’t forget them. He went to a secluded corner in the hall to open up his voice, trying not to raise too much attention.

Three hours later he was called to audition. He took a deep breath and wiped his hands on his pants to get rid of the sweat in them. He hasn’t been this nervous since 4 years ago when he auditioned for Nell Entertainment. He took off his sunglasses and fixed his clothes before he went inside. He went to stand in front of the judges, looking at them one at a time and noticing Woohyun sitting on the left side. He had to swallow the lump forming in his throat and coughed a little, also hoping the other man wouldn’t remember him. “Please introduce yourself” Kim Jaejoong from JYJ, a top selling artist and former member of 2000’s biggest boy group Dong Bang Shin Ki. He’s especially known for his outstanding songwriting skills.

Sunggyu bowed at the judges before looking at them. “Hello, I’m participant Kim Sunggyu.” He bit his lip for a moment, looking at the judges reactions. Son Dambi smiled at him and looked down at the papers. “I was looking through your papers and I noticed that the reason you wanted to audition was to stand on stage in front of the blinding lights and sing in front of people. You’re really specific on what you want, why is that?” She asked sweetly, making Sunggyu smile before he answered. “I’ve always desired to stand there, hear the people’s cheers and claps for me. Unfortunately all auditions I attended ended up me getting eliminated near the very end. I was never able to make the final cut” he slightly lowered his head before holding his head high again, smiling at the judges. “Shall I start?” he asked the judges nodded their heads, looking interested.

Woohyun was looking at Sunggyu closely and noticed something awfully familiar, before something snapped in his head. He was the guy from yesterday who was throwing on the side of the road. The image from now and then made him chuckle, hiding his smile behind his hand. He looked at Sunggyu with intriguing eyes, anticipating what he had to show.

Sunggyu cleared his throat before nodding his head for the MR track to start. He closed his eyes as he listened to the opening notes before he started to sing. “Outside the window the rain is falling. After you left my heart keeps yearning for you. Inside my room your smell is still lingering around. Phone call late at night makes me think it might be you and it suddenly makes me cry. Please just once let me hear the sound of your breathing. I want to hear you tonight. I want you tonight. I close my eyes and I picture you here. I miss you tonight. I want you tonight. I take off the blanket and I call out for you…” Sunggyu sang the song he had prepared and he was so into the song that he didn’t even notice that the judges didn’t cut his song. He finished the song and opened his eyes, looking at the judges.

Woohyun was astonished by Sunggyu’s voice and couldn’t help but again feel that it sounded familiar. He shook his head, thinking that it’s not it. He clapped a little and smiled at Sunggyu before he spoke. “I’m impressed Kim Sunggyu-sshi. That was really good and I’m really astonished why no label would want you to be their singer. You look quite handsome and you could easily be a celebrity. I’m saying yes. I want to see you again” He smiled before sending a wink over to Sunggyu who couldn’t help but to blush at the sudden display of admiration.

Kim Jaejoong cleared his throat and smiled, taking off his sunglasses. “I was worried about the song, because you know Xia is my friend and also a fellow member but I have to say that you performed the song really well. I’m really impressed too and I agree to Woohyun’s comments. I’m saying yes too. I’ll see you in two weeks at the eliminations” he smiled before turning to Woohyun to whisper something to him. Sunggyu turned his attention to Son Dambi who was smiling too. “That was amazing. I’m saying yes too. See you in two weeks” she smiled. Sunggyu grinned widely and bowed at the judges before he went out. He received his acceptance note and couldn’t stop smiling widely. He walked outside before taking out his phone.

“Dongwoo-yah! We’re celebrating today! I got through the first audition! I’m coming over to Hoya’s restaurant at 7, see you there!” he did a small victory dance and couldn’t stop grinning. He was so happy that they liked his singing and his performance. He sent a message to Myungsoo too that he got accepted. He walked over to the main road to grab a taxi, going over to Hoya’s restaurant as it was already nearing 7. As he sat in the taxi he couldn’t help but to feel like everything was going to turn out well. He was again one step closer to the stage he had always dreamed of.

After arriving at Hoya’s restaurant he went inside with hurried steps and noticed Dongwoo by the counter, skipping over to him before he jumped on him for a big hug. He held his friend tightly and kept smiling the whole time before he let go. “I passed the first audition! Isn’t that great?” Sunggyu kept hugging Dongwoo who turned in his arms and hugged him back, giving the older man’s butt a gentle slap. “I knew you could do it, hyung. I’m so happy for you. We should celebrate” he grinned before breaking the hug, turning to Hoya who was returning from the kitchen. “Baby, can you believe Sunggyu passed the first round at the auditions I told you about. I’m really sure he’s going to make it far” Dongwoo grinned at Hoya who smiled back and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend’s waist, holding him close.

“That’s great Sunggyu-hyung. I’m treating the food today, okay? I’ll prepare something special.” He grinned before returning back to the kitchen to give orders to the chefs, returning to his boyfriend and Sunggyu who chose a table and sat down. He took a seat too and looked at the older man. “Hyung, Dongwoo told me that this audition can risk your career, is that what you really want?” he asked seriously opening the bottle of soju one of his workers carried to the table. He poured glasses for the two and himself, taking a sip. Sunggyu downed his drink and nodded, smiling. “Yeah if I get caught then I’m in trouble, but I won’t let them find out until the very end if I make the final cut. This is what I want and I’m willing to fight for it”

Dongwoo smiled adoringly at his hyung and drank his drink, looking at him. “So yeah there’s the second round in a few weeks and you would be against many talented singers. You need to think of something that can make you shine among those contestants. That way the judges remember you and you can easily impress them. I don’t know what that would be, but I believe you can come up with something” he smiled widely before he downed his second drink. Sunggyu did the same and smiled too, nodding. “I’m thinking about it too, but what makes things a little uneasy is that I went drinking with Myungsoo and Sungjong yesterday and I ran into Nam Woohyun on the street.” He lowered his head in shame while biting his lip. “I didn’t feel so well so I threw up on the side of the road and he came to pat my back, asking if I was okay. He also said he could walk me home, but I ran away as fast as I could. I’m also pretty sure he knew who I was when I auditioned today, but he spoke like he was totally impressed. I don’t know really…”

Sunggyu was pondering for a while before he took his chopsticks, starting to eat the Korean pancake on the table, feeling hungry all of a sudden. He heard Dongwoo gasp and grab onto his arm. “Hyung! Seriously?! You met the Nam Woohyun… You must be really lucky lately. He’s really hot though and I really hope you would date him in the future” Dongwoo winced when both Sunggyu and Hoya nudged him with their elbows, rubbing his sides while pouting. Hoya was a little jealous, but to Sunggyu the whole scenario was like a fairy tale. “Yah, like I have a chance dating a star like him. Get out… Besides after breaking up with Doojoon I’ve avoided serious relationships and I’m hundred percent sure that he’s not gay or into guys. I mean think of the amount of fangirls that are after him.” He sighed before he downed his third drink, pouring a new one and drinking that in a row.

Dongwoo pouted and looked at Sunggyu, resting his hand on his shoulder. “Even if it’s a little unlikely, there’s a possibility. I mean if he was willing to walk you home it must mean something!” Dongwoo exclaimed and Hoya had to cover his mouth to calm him down, whispering something into his ear which made Dongwoo blush and quiet down. Sunggyu could just roll his eyes before he ate the food in front of him, a million thoughts running through his mind and making him feel dizzy. Sure Nam Woohyun was attractive and he was Sunggyu’s type, but he knew that guys like Woohyun don’t like men. They enjoy the attention they get from women because they like women. Sunggyu sighed before pouring himself another drink, ruffling his hair out of frustration.

Woohyun was sitting in his van while moving to his next schedule which was a radio broadcast and he couldn’t help but to think about Sunggyu, the man who threw up on the side walk looking like a normal person, but when he arrived at the audition it was like he was a born celebrity. He has been on Woohyun’s mind ever since earlier that day and he couldn’t help but to think back to the song he performed, almost sure that his voice sounded so familiar to someone else’s but he couldn’t figure out who’s voice was similar. Woohyun groaned a little before rubbing his temples, obviously getting a headache from thinking too much. He looked out from the window and couldn’t help but to feel a tug in his heart towards the man. He sighed as this was no time thinking about someone to date or someone to see.

He was still waiting a call from Kim Jongwan to meet SG and he was getting irritated. He took out his phone and the CEO’s card from his bag, pushing the number before calling him. “Hello? This is Nam Woohyun. Yes, I’m asking about the meeting you promised with SG. Friday 9PM at your studio. Send me the address. Okay thank you. Yes, good night” Woohyun ended the call and couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear, finally his dream was coming true and he couldn’t wait until Friday. He turned his manager. “Hyung, I don’t have any schedules on Friday night, right?” Woohyun’s manager turned to look at him before raising his eyebrow, taking out the calendar. “No there isn’t, why? You’re not going clubbing again are you?” He asked suspiciously to which Woohyun roared in laughter, shaking his hand.

“Hyung! What do you take me for? Of course not! After that story last year I’ve only drank alone in my room, thank you very much. I’m meeting someone on Friday. You know the faceless singer SG? I went to see the CEO the other day and he promised a meeting with him, but of course I have to sign an agreement that the real identity stays as a secret as no one but the company employees know who he is. This is so exciting!” He grinned from ear to ear, bouncing a little in his seat before his cellphone vibrated, informing a new message. He opened the message and saw the address, grinning still as he couldn’t believe this was really happening.

SG was his role model and he has always been a fan of him ever since his debut. His debut piece Shine really blew him away and that’s what drove him on becoming a singer. He stepped out of the van as they arrived at the broadcasting station, greeting a few fans that were waiting for him. He went inside and bowed to the workers before he took off his coat, sitting down on one of the chairs in the studio. He put on a pair of earphones and waited for the show to start, smiling the whole time. The broadcast was going smoothly and then the MCs were asking some questions from him.

“Woohyun-sshi, I’ve heard you’re a huge fan of faceless singer SG, how so?” the other MC asked which Woohyun responded casually. “I’ve been his fan ever since he debuted while I was in high school and I think that it was incredibly courageous of him not to debut with a face, but just his voice alone. He’s been my role model ever since and he’s actually the reason why I became a singer in the first place. I wanted to follow his footsteps, win people’s hearts with just a voice, but of course I failed a little as my face came with the package. I actually wish to meet him one day and thank him personally for inspiring me” Woohyun smiled the whole time he was talking about SG and he was so charged the whole show that he was praised when everything was over. He walked back to the van with his manager, smiling and waving to the fans that had been waiting for him to come out. Woohyun sat down in the van before he took out his phone and earphones, plugging in the cord and starting to listen to some of SG’s songs again. He leaned his head against the window and fell asleep, dreaming about the meeting of his life.

Sunggyu was just going home from Hoya’s restaurant when his phone rang. It was his CEO and he cleared his throat before answering. “Hello? Yeah I’m just going home after meeting with some friends. Hold on for a moment” he said before the taxi stopped, putting the phone between his ear and shoulder, paying the driver and hopping off. He was walking over to his building before he sat down on a bench, listening to his CEO. “Yeah? You want me to what?! Meet who?” Sunggyu’s eyes when he heard the name he never thought he would hear.

Kim Jongwan sighed when he said the name again. “Sunggyu-yah… Nam Woohyun wants to meet SG, which is you.”


	4. 이제 좋아하면 안될 사람 (Person I can't like anymore)

Sunggyu was astonished when he heard his CEO saying that someone from the business wanted to meet him. Kim Jongwan explained that Woohyun will write a contract saying that he will not say anything to anyone about meeting him. “Okay so you want me to meet this person this Friday? Who is it?” Sunggyu asked curiously and his eyes went wide. “Nam Woohyun?!” he had to calm himself down and not blow his cover. He can’t tell his CEO that he’s auditioning for the program where Woohyun is in. He bit his lip for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Okay I’ll do it. I need to be there at 9PM, right? Okay I’ll be there. Bye”

After Sunggyu ended the call he immediately got scared. If he meets Woohyun now then his cover will be blown and he most likely will vote against him in the next rounds, unless he gets to convince him to put him through the rounds. He ruffled his hair and groaned out of frustration. This wasn’t seriously happening to him now. He took out his phone and called Myungsoo since Dongwoo was too drunk to be in his right state of mind. He waited for the other line to pick up before someone answered. 

“Hyung, what is it?” Myungsoo asked a little annoyed. He was just having a break while having a photo shoot and he was enjoying a cup of coffee while sitting down watching the pictures he took. Sunggyu stood up and started pacing around. “Myungsoo-yah… I have a huge problem. You know Nam Woohyun who is a judge in the audition I’m in. Well I passed the first round, but now my CEO just called me saying that he wants to meet SG! This is seriously messed up. I mean if he finds out that I’m SG he’ll most likely eliminate me in the auditions if I don’t make an alliance with him to put me through. God… Myungsoo what should I do?” Sunggyu bit his lip and kept pacing around.

Myungsoo almost spit out his coffee and his eyes went wide. “What? So basically Nam Woohyun requested a meeting with you through your CEO and now he even made a meeting between you two. This is bad hyung, like really bad. He was on a radio show today and I heard some of the female staff saying that he claimed to be a fan of SG and that because of him he became a singer. Hyung, what I mean is that he can’t ruin your career if he claims to be your fan. I don’t know what you should do. If I was you I would meet him and tell him everything about what you’re going through. I bet that someone like him will understand.” Myungsoo said encouragingly before standing up and walking away from the other staff to somewhere private. He bit his lip before talking again.

“But then again hyung if you don’t meet him you’ll leave a bad image on him. His biggest idol that he clearly likes a lot refused to meet with him even though knowing who was waiting for him. You should go and see him. I mean I bet you can make him understand that this audition is a big thing for you, but of course say that he shouldn’t let you through because he’s your fan, but because you’re doing well among the other contestants. You know what I mean, right?” Myungsoo said softly while leaning against the wall, waiting Sunggyu to reply.

Sunggyu sighed on the other end as he was listening to what Myungsoo was telling him and he couldn’t help but to feel slightly relieved, but he was also a bit scared. He bit his lip and nodded along, sitting down on one of the benches. “I know what you mean, Myungsoo. I know that he deserves to meet me. My worry is that he’ll be disappointed in me. Or then he’ll feel sorry for me or he’ll be sorry for what he said to me and such. I don’t want to think about this, but thoughts just keep coming into my mind.” Sunggyu sighed and stood up before walking into his apartment building, pressing the elevator call button and waiting for it to arrive. He stepped in before pressing the button to 15th floor, leaning against the wall and feeling all energy draining from him.

Myungsoo bit his lip while listening, nodding at his co-workers who were asking to continue the shoot. He started to walk back before sighing. “Hyung, you’re thinking too much. I’ve heard he’s a cool guy and he’ll take it well. I’m sure of it. Listen, I need to get back to work, but if you have any thoughts just text me later, okay?” Myungsoo said to Sunggyu before going over to his computer and camera, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder, nodding at the workers again with a smile.

Sunggyu hummed in agreement and smiled a little, opening the door to his apartment and turning on the lights. “Thanks Myungsoo for everything this really helped me. Say hello to Sungjong when you go home, okay? Enjoy the rest of the shoot. Fighting!” He chuckled before ending the call and taking off his coat, putting it in his hallway closet. He walked deeper into his apartment before going to his home studio again, firing up the computer. He knew some things about Woohyun and hearing him being his fan made him even more nervous about the meeting later on Friday. He went to the internet to look for articles about himself, not because he needed to know what people wrote about him, but because he was curious.

He saw some articles concerning his comeback, some rumors about his identity and then articles about Woohyun saying he was his fan. He looked up the radio broadcast from today and put on his headphones, listening to the interview. He got to the part where Woohyun said about being the reason for becoming a singer and how he wanted to debut like him, but was unable to. He sighed out loud because he didn’t want others to go through the same as he did. It was really eating him now after four years had passed since he agreed to live like this.

Sunggyu turned off the web browser and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. All of his memories from the past kept coming back to him, reminding him on that debuting without a face was his only chance to become a star. Audition programs were done now and then, but he never had the courage to actually participate in one. He always thought that his looks were lacking, especially when he was younger. Sunggyu stood up and walked over to his kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a bottle of sparkling water, deep in thought of what he’s going to say when he meets Woohyun on Friday. He was scared that things might not end well in the end.

Friday arrived sooner than Sunggyu expected and everyday was even harder as the feared moment came closer. Sunggyu kept lying on his bed that day, refusing to get up and go outside. He didn’t need to think about groceries as the cleaning lady who came there took care of everything. He sighed as he rolled around on his big king size bed, stopping to look at the ceiling. He never thought that this day would really arrive. He never thought that someone asked to actually meet him. He never even got requests from his fans to meet him personally, but then again he didn’t know if they ever did and if they did the company must have turned them away.

After lying on his bed awake until he had enough he stood up and got washed. He spent his day just watching TV, doing some online shopping and checking the news. His everyday life was like this. He would always have to think what to do the next day if he didn’t go and meet Dongwoo and Hoya or Sungjong and Myungsoo. He thought about calling John, but he decided the man would be busy with schedules and everything. Moments like this made him feel lonely and he didn’t have anyone that would know how he felt. He also didn’t have anyone to come clean to. He missed being in a relationship with all the late night talks on the phone, drinking together and having fun.

Woohyun finished his schedule as planned and he asked for his manager to take him to Nell Entertainment studios for his meeting. He was smiling all day and nothing ruined his mood. This was his dream come true and he couldn’t wait to meet SG in person. They drove through the city before arriving at Nell Entertainment, parking at the front. Woohyun turned to his manager and smiled. “Hyung, just go home I can take the cab when I’m done. I’ll be fine.” Woohyun’s manager nodded in agreement and smiled at him. “Only if you send me text when you’re back home, okay? I don’t want to worry all night thinking that something might have happened to you and call me if there’s anything.” Woohyun saluted his manager before getting off the car and walking into the studios. 

Upon his entrance at the desk a young woman was waiting for him with a badge saying she was personnel with her name on it. Woohyun smiled politely and bowed, locking eyes with her. She returned the polite gestures before putting a file on the front desk and opening it. “This contract explains that the meeting is confidential and whatever you discuss within each other stays between you and Singer SG. When you sign it you’ve agreed to all the terms of no pictures, no leaks to the press and no prohibited actions what so ever.” She handed Woohyun the pen which he took and signed for the papers, giving them back to her with a smile.

She took the file and showed him the way to the studio where he was going to meet the singer he’s been dying to meet. She escorted him to the door before knocking on it, hearing a yes from inside she opened the door and took her leave. Woohyun grabbed on the door handle before pushing it open. A person was sitting his back facing his way while doing some mixing on a song. He cleared his throat before taking a step closer and closing the door. “Nice to meet you SG-sshi, I’m Nam Woohyun and I’m a big…” his words got stuck in his throat when the chair spun around and he saw a face he didn’t think he would see.

Sunggyu took a deep breath when the door was opened and tried to keep cool. When Woohyun started his introduction he bit his lip before turning the chair and taking a look at the man in front of him. He smiled at Woohyun before standing up. “Take a seat” he gestured on one of the chairs in front of the mixing table, taking a seat as well. Woohyun was rooted to his spot before he finally gathered himself to sit down. He looked astonished and just kept looking at Sunggyu the whole time. “You’re SG? This can’t be…” He was at loss for words, looking at the older man in front of him.

Sunggyu bit his lip and sighed, looking at Woohyun. “I didn’t want you to find out this way. Believe me I didn’t and I tried to hide everything, but I guess your desire to meet me blew my cover. So here I am, Hidden Singer SG. The singer that inspired you…” Sunggyu kept looking at Woohyun the whole time, fear evident in his face that the other man would say something bad to him.

Woohyun took a moment to let everything sink in and he felt dizzy all of a sudden. He found it hard to believe that Kim Sunggyu was SG, the man he admired. He wondered why his voice sounded so familiar, but now he knew the reason why. He had heard it many times before when listening to his songs. “Why would you audition if you already had a career like you have? I… I don’t understand why participating will do you any good. I’m confused.” Woohyun tried hard to calm himself down and grabbed a hold on the seat which he sat on, trying to think something else to say.

Sunggyu sighed before looking down at his hands on his lap, biting his lip. “You could say I got greedy, but you can also say that I got sick of the secrecy. The real reason why I auditioned was because I didn’t want to stay hidden anymore. Doors wouldn’t open up for me on my own after I requested to show my face. So I needed to find a backdoor, a place where I can be Kim Sunggyu, 25-year-old normal Korean citizen with a desire to sing on stage and be himself. I don’t expect you to understand, but this was something that I thought about for a very long time and now given a chance to do something about my career I couldn’t let it pass.” Sunggyu explained softly before wheeling his chair closer to Woohyun’s looking at him.

“Woohyun-sshi, look at me…” He pleaded and waited for the other man to look at him in the eye, gaze showing nothing but want for understanding. Sunggyu locked his eyes with Woohyun who was clearly still in shock. “I know you admire SG and what he has accomplished without a face, but as a person behind that façade is a normal human being. I don’t know if you ever thought about it closely, but I don’t perform on stage, do any variety shows, film music videos with me as the lead and what eats me the most is that I can’t even give interviews while being present with the reporters. The questions are sent to me, I reply, my company looks through it before sending it to the press. I admit being faceless had its good points for a while, but now after living the same life for the past four years this is too much for me to handle. I turned into a shell because I could only stay at my apartment, watch movies, listen to music and be lazy all day when I wasn’t recording anything.” Sunggyu tried to explain things to Woohyun and he could clearly see the other man’s gaze softening when he listened to Sunggyu’s story.

Woohyun sighed again as he let everything sink into him, breaking the gaze to look down on his lap. “I thought about it sometimes and I was envious, but I know what you’re trying to say. You can’t meet your fans, give autographs and you don’t know much what is happening in the business. To be honest even those have their ups and downs, but I know no one should be forbidden to be who they are.” He scooted a little closer and took Sunggyu’s hand, holding it tightly. “Sunbae... It sounds a little weird to say it now, but I still admire you. I admire your talent and how your voice can make a difference.” Woohyun spoke softly which made Sunggyu smile at him.

Sunggyu held onto Woohyun’s hand for a while before noticing the other man wasn’t letting go, biting his lip. “Woohyun…There’s one thing you should know about me as well.” Sunggyu took a deep breath before continuing. “I like guys and I’ve dated guys ever since high school and even during my career, though no one knew my hidden identity. You’re the first one among my friends and family who found out, so I thought you should know who I really am.” Woohyun kept holding onto Sunggyu’s hand before pulling him even closer so he was between Sunggyu’s legs. Sunggyu was in shock at the other man’s advancement on him, biting his lip.

Woohyun tried to get as close as he could and he didn’t even know why he did it, but Sunggyu caught his eye since the night he met him when he was on his night walk. It was something and he can’t name it now. It might be Sunggyu’s small eyes, his young looking face, his slightly lean body build or the fact that he looked like a normal person which made Woohyun happy. His thoughts were going crazy just thinking that the man he had interest to was also the man he admired and whom he adored.

“You know… When I first saw you that late night I immediately knew you were interesting and when I saw you at the audition I felt even more drawn into you. You have this charm that it seems hard for me to resist. So yes I have a confession to make as well. I know this might sound a bit sudden and might come as a shock to you, but I like guys too. I haven’t been able to date after my debut though because well you know that there are cameras everywhere and the lots. You’re the first guy in a long while that caught my eye.” Woohyun said softly before leaning even closer, his face inching closer to Sunggyu’s. Sunggyu was frozen to the spot and looked down at Woohyun’s lips before the other man said one more thing.

“Despite you being SG the singer I admire and also my sunbae, but seeing you here as Kim Sunggyu made me realize that I’m really drawn to you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night.” Woohyun whispered softly before closing the distance between their lips, pressing a soft kiss to Sunggyu’s lips. Sunggyu’s eyes widen, but after only a few seconds he closed his eyes and returned the kiss, placing his hand on Woohyun’s arm. They stayed like that for a while before Woohyun was first to break away, pressing one final peck before smiling widely. He leaned back and looked at Sunggyu who looked quite out of it, chuckling a bit.

“I’ll help you with the audition. Of course I need to act along with the other judges, but I’ll help you go through. I hope you would trust me and let me do this as a token of gratitude.” Woohyun spoke with a smile and Sunggyu just nodded, obviously having nothing to say to that and thought about what to say for a while. He was grateful, but he wanted to oppose to the idea.

“Woohyun-ah… I really appreciate your help, but just continue to do what you’re doing. If I can’t pass the auditions until the finals with my own strength then I just have to live like I used to live. You also know that if we ever end up together it’s going to be hard on both of us. You might get hurt and that is one of the reasons why I don’t date celebrities, because if the press caught what the star was doing it will be all over the papers. I was fine of course because no one knew who I really was, but after making a mistake to date a celebrity it got hard on the other half. I don’t want you to get hurt. I really hate myself for saying this even when I like you too, but we shouldn’t do this. Think about this carefully and then come to me again when you’ve made your final decision. Until then we’re just contestant Kim Sunggyu and judge Nam Woohyun.” Sunggyu said softly before getting up from his chair and taking out a pen and paper from the desk. He wrote down his number and his address.

“I’m home most of the time so just call me or come over when you’ve made your decision. I’m not saying no to your confession, but I want you to think about this through. I’ll meet you at the eliminations in two weeks. Take care until then.” Sunggyu smiled the last time before taking his sunglasses from the table and putting them on, patting Woohyun’s shoulder before he left the room to head to his car. He needed a drink so bad and he couldn’t help the clenching feeling in his chest like he just hurt himself when saying such words.

Woohyun took the paper Sunggyu gave him and stayed there rooted to his seat when the older man left. He let out a sigh and lowered his head. He knew he wasn’t rejected, but he really needed to think things through if he’s willing to come out when the moment comes. He thought a long time if he’s able to really let everybody know who he really is and also let everyone know who he really likes. He sighed again before getting up from his chair, walking out from the studio to the main road to grab a taxi back home. Sunggyu’s words kept playing in his head for a long time and the other man was true in everything he said.

He’s going to get hurt eventually he knows it, but is he ready to get hurt? Is he ready to risk what he has for love?


	5. 나의 미래를 위한 도전 (A challenge for my future)

The two weeks passed quickly for both of them. Sunggyu kept practicing for the eliminations every day and almost every hour he had to spare while Woohyun kept attending his schedules while holding onto Sunggyu’s phone number in his pocket. He saved the older man’s number in his phone and thought many times if he should just call him and ask how he was doing, but Sunggyu said they’re just a contestant and a judge for now. He wasn’t getting his hopes up, but he thought about the other man every day.

One night when Woohyun was having an after party with some other idols after a successful filming for a variety program he obviously had too much to drink so he went outside and without thought called Sunggyu’s number. Sunggyu was just practicing when he heard his phone ring, picking up the phone it was a number that he didn’t know, but he had a thought it was Woohyun. He answered the call and stopped the music playing in the background. “Hello?” He asked the other end before he heard some chuckling.

Woohyun leaned against the wall in the alley he was hiding in, chuckling when Sunggyu answered the phone. “Sunbae-nim! Do you know how difficult these past two weeks have been for me? You didn’t accept my confession nor did you deny me either. Do you know how hard it has been for me?” Woohyun stopped for a while as he could feel a lump forming in his throat. He quickly wiped the tears that fell down his cheeks. 

“I’ve been thinking about you everyday… I look at your number and I thought about calling you at least 20 times a day but in the end I realized I had nothing to say… I don’t know how to make you mine. I really like you…” He sobbed in the other end leaning against the wall before he slid down to sit on the ground, holding tightly to his phone.

Sunggyu sat down and listened to Woohyun and he couldn’t help but to feel sorry for the other man, but this was the only way for him to understand that it won’t be an easy road for him. He sighed before he spoke. “Woohyun-ah… I want you to understand that the road won’t be easy. I know it’s not easy for you and that having feelings for me won’t make things any easier either. I’m only thinking what is best for you. I really like you too and this is hard for me as well…” Sunggyu took a deep breath and leaned against his desk, holding to his cellphone. “Woohyun-ah… You have a long career ahead of you. You’ve only been a singer for two years and it’s too soon for you to throw it all away. I don’t want to be the reason that took away your career from you…” He said while leaning against his desk, trying to keep himself together. He tried hard not to give up on Woohyun, but it wasn’t easy.

Woohyun pulled his knees against his chest and hid his face against his knees, trying to keep the tears from falling. He listened to Sunggyu and knew that he was serious with what he said before when they first met. He ended the call without saying another word and kept sobbing against his knees, placing a hand on the left side of his chest over his heart, holding onto the jacket he was wearing. This was really eating him inside and he couldn’t think of an easy way out of this. 

The only options he basically had was to bury his feelings for Sunggyu somewhere deep in his heart and continue with his life or hold onto the feelings he had for the other man and see if the feelings were really worth keeping. He raised his head to look at his phone, seeing some missed calls from the other artists that were having a party inside. He quickly sent them a message that he didn’t feel well and was sorry that he had to leave early. He stood up, took a black face mask from his pocket and hid his face. He started to walk over to the main road to grab a taxi back home. Sunggyu’s words kept playing in his head the whole time.

‘I really like you, but I don’t want to be the reason that took away your career from you’ Woohyun tried to hold in the tears that threatened to fall again. Even if he didn’t know Sunggyu personally, but it was his love for SG that made his feelings grow even bigger in such short time. He quickly went to his apartment after he paid the driver upon arriving at the complex and closed the bedroom door when he got there. He was really lost right now. He wanted to help Sunggyu to go as far as he deserves to go, but again he wants to eliminate him first thing when he sees him tomorrow, because that way he has a bigger chance to be with him.

Sunggyu sighed when he heard the beep informing that the call had been disconnected, throwing the phone next to him somewhere on the desk. He covered his eyes and kept thinking about what Woohyun said to him and what he said to Woohyun. He realized that he was harsh, but Woohyun was still young and he might not know the risks unless someone teaches him. He wanted to give in, he really did. He sat down on the chair next to him and lowered his head, sighing. The sound of Woohyun’s sobs kept ringing in his ears and he felt even sorrier than before.

He looked at the songs he had picked for the next rounds and he noticed a song that he hadn’t practiced that much. It was Fly To The Sky’s I Love You. He looked at the lyrics and he felt it was the perfect song to show Woohyun that he didn’t mean what he said and that he should believe in him. He quickly put on the music and went to his studio microphone to practice. He knew the song was a difficult one and he can easily make a mistake, yet he thought he should take the risk. He needs to show Woohyun that the feeling is mutual.

Sunggyu kept practicing and practicing until morning not even looking at the time. He finished practicing around 8am and he was sure Woohyun will know that the song is for him. He quickly showered and changed his clothes, having a cup of coffee before he went out to the audition location. This time there wasn’t as many contestants as before and after he had completed some forms again he was escorted to the auditorium with other contestants. He waited patiently for his group to be called on stage and when finally his turn he came he went to stand on stage. He locked his gaze with Woohyun who didn’t look so happy at all and he knew it was because of him. The other man turned his eyes away from Sunggyu only a few seconds after their gazes locked and Sunggyu felt slightly hurt from the treatment.

The contestants in the line kept singing one at a time and then his turn came, stepping out from the crowd to stand in the middle in front of the judges. Kim Jaejoong looked pleased to see him and even smiled at him, which was a sign that he remembered Sunggyu from two weeks ago. Son Dambi looked pleased as well. Woohyun though still kept looking at his papers and didn’t turn to look at Sunggyu. Sunggyu sighed and nodded his head for the music to start playing. He chose to sing the song he practiced all night to show Woohyun what he really means.

“I don’t know when it began. My heart became full of love, of love. My spiteful fate pains me, if you really are my final love. It doesn’t matter if I die. I love you. Don’t cry because of me. I love you. I’ll take your tears away believe in me. I love you. Tears still come despite those words. I love you. These words are insufficient but I love you, I love you.” Sunggyu kept singing passionately and he didn’t see the other contestants that were filled with awe and amazement. He kept singing until his time was up and he lowered the microphone, lifting his gaze to look at Woohyun who had tears in his eyes.

He kept looking at the other man when he bowed and returned back to his spot in the line, the judges still clapping at his performance. After everyone had sang their songs they announced who were going to continue and who had to go back home. When Sunggyu heard his name that he was put through he smiled widely and was escorted off from the stage with the others who got through as well. When he was leaving the stage he turned to look at Woohyun who was looking back at him with a smile on his face. His mission was a success.

He joined other contestants that were put through to the next round and he heard praises from them saying he was really good and like a pro. Of course he just bowed and said that he practiced hard which they believed of course. Sunggyu was given the next mission to sing a song about unwanted love. He sighed as he thought of a song he could sing and basically his situation with Woohyun was an unwanted love, but he couldn’t help his heart going to the other man.

He kept thinking about the song and chose Wheesung’s With Me which basically is a song about a man trying to convince the woman he loves to love him back. If he thought about their situation it was the other way around that Woohyun was the one trying to convince him to be with him, but he was turning him down. He sighed as he started to practice while playing one of the electronic pianos in the practice room. He was given two hours to practice and make changes to the song if he wished to. He decided to go with no music in the beginning just his voice and then turning on the music when starting the actual song which he wanted to be slightly funky and fun.

Time went by quickly and it was his turn to perform again. They were going to eliminate some of the contestants again before the final elimination round and after that 10 contestants will be practicing with a vocal trainer for two weeks until the final round which will be broadcasted and the winner will win the prize. Sunggyu took a deep breath when it was his turn to sing again.

“I feel happy just looking at your hand. I feel good just listening to your voice. So why do you say I should leave you without asking my opinion. I can love you even if you hate me. I can be happy if I can only see you. Why do you hurt me when I feel like that? Why do you push me away when I don't want to? I believe this is love (love). I know it's not what you think (think), saying 'find another girl whom you will love more'. I can see your hurt feeling too (feeling too)” Sunggyu ended the final note and took a deep breath before looking at the judges again. He smiled at them and waited for their response to the song.

Kim Jaejoong was first to raise his microphone and smile at Sunggyu. “You’re really something, you know that? How can you make every song sound so good and so fresh at the same time? The two songs you sang today are pretty old and sang by many before, but yet you were able to bring something your own that made them sound like completely new. I’m really impressed Kim Sunggyu-sshi.” He ended his words with a smile and after that Son Dambi said the same things as Kim Jaejoong did. What Sunggyu was nervous about was what Woohyun was going to say.

Woohyun cleared his throat and smiled at Sunggyu. “I’m really touched Sunggyu-sshi. Your first song completely blew me away and your sincerity through the lyrics was really overflowing. I was speechless after that song and now singing this song that is old and sang by many, you were able to bring your own taste to it and it was really good. I’ll be looking forward to your last song of today.” Woohyun said sincerely and smiled, looking down at his papers to avoid Sunggyu’s gaze on him.

Sunggyu bowed and went back in the line with the other contestants, taking deep breaths to control his anxiety he felt when being under Woohyun’s eyes. Yes, this is what he was talking about. He was just a contestant and Woohyun was the judge, though Woohyun now knew his real identity, but he hoped he won’t be put through because he was SG, the man he admired. He waited until everyone else after him had done their turns singing their own songs. The judges took a while to judge again before Jaejoong grabbed the microphone.

Jaejoong smiled at the contestants a little too bittersweet before he spoke. “Okay so this is the second last elimination and unfortunately we need to send some of you home. We’ve chosen 15 people to the last and final round before the actual training period. I’ll start calling out the contestants who unfortunately had to be eliminated.” Jaejoong started to say name after name before just 15 were left. Sunggyu lifted his head to notice that his name wasn’t said, which meant he was one of the survivors. He couldn’t stop smiling as he genuinely felt happy.

“Okay so for the final 15 contestants you’ll be given 90 minutes to practice your final song for today. It can be a song you’re confident in or it can be a song you naturally enjoy singing. We won’t be giving you restrictions for this final round. Just pick the song you want to sing to us judges sincerely. That’s all for now and we’ll be back in 90 minutes.” Jaejoong ended the audition and made the contestants return to the practice room. Sunggyu walked out after taking one final look at Woohyun and mouthing a ‘Thank you’ before he exited the stage.

He went to the practice room and found one of the electronic pianos, sitting in front of it before pressing a few keys just to make a song come to his mind. One of the contestants Kang Seungyoon came over to him with a wide smile, standing beside the piano. “You were awesome back there. I really admire your talent, hyung. I can call you hyung, right?” He asked grinning and Sunggyu smiled back with a nod. “Of course you can. You’re really good too Seungyoon-ah. Your voice is really unique. Have you thought a song to sing yet?” he asked curiously.

Seungyoon shook his head with a sneaky smile. “I won’t tell you, hyung.” He joked a little before finding his guitar to practice. Sunggyu chuckled before returning to his piano. He bit his lip as he thought of the songs he knew and could perform. He thought performing his own songs, but that wouldn’t go well. It would be too obvious. He took his phone from his pocket and looked at some of the songs he had made himself. He was still lacking as a songwriter, but it would be a new challenge for him. Sunggyu looked at one song which he had recorded beforehand some time ago and took out a notepad and a pen, starting to write the lyrics.

He came up with the lyrics in 15 minutes just thinking about his past relationships and he started to play the song while practicing it. He knew this was extreme, but it would be his last chance after all so he thought why not threw everything on the table and if they don’t accept him then it’s their loss and he’ll go back to being SG. He came up with a song which he named as 41 Days. He made the final touches before he took his cellphone to the staff, asking them to play the song.

He went to line with the final contestants and he was nervously waiting for his turn. He took deep breaths and tried to compose himself. When his name was called he came forward while holding the microphone. He looked at the judges and started to introduce his song. “The song I’m performing is actually something I made on my own. I had the audio for a while, but never wrote lyrics to it, but now I tried to write the lyrics and came up with this song. I know it was a risky decision, but I hope you like it.” He smiled before lowering his head to take a deep breath again and relax.

The music started to play and he kept his head low, trying to feel the melody of the song. He lifted the microphone to his lips and started to sing. “The light turns on and the windows open up, only to close again. The light turns off. The music gets louder and my shoulders move up and down and stop again. The music turns off. Everything I gave to you wasn’t for you. It was so that it would feel like nothing to me. Everything that was towards you wasn’t love. It was only because I wanted to believe that it was, that we’re reachable. That light that was brightly shining the dark path in front of me, I wished for it to be you. But here it’s already a dark shadow where no one can see, inside my heart. Everything I gave to you wasn’t for you. It was so that it would feel like nothing to me. Everything that was towards you wasn’t love. It was only because I wanted to believe that it was, that we’re reachable. You can’t take my heart…”

Sunggyu kept singing until the song finally ended and he was glad that he didn’t forget the lyrics. He lowered the microphone and turned to look at the judges. When he turned to look he noticed Woohyun wasn’t sitting there and also Jaejoong was missing. He looked at Son Dambi in slight panic, but she just smiled at him like to say everything was okay. Sunggyu bit his lip and went back in line, putting the final round on hold as the two judges were missing.

Woohyun stormed out from the hall out to the foyer and he kept ruffling his hair. Kim Jaejoong followed close behind and grabbed Woohyun’s shoulder, turning him around. “You can’t run off from an audition like that when someone is still singing their song. What is wrong with you?” He was irritated that Woohyun would do something like this. He couldn’t understand what was going on and he kept on holding onto Woohyun’s shoulder that was shaking.

“Hyung, I can’t do this. I can’t put him through…” He said in a dead serious tone which completely blew Jaejoong away. He just didn’t understand what the younger singer meant with his words. “Woohyun-ah, what do you mean you can’t put him through? He was amazing just now. I mean think about it he came up with a song in just 90 minutes he’s basically a genius. Even I can’t make a song that fast even if I have the audio ready. What makes you say that?” Jaejoong tried to pry the information from the other because he was obviously hiding something.

Woohyun took a deep breath before breaking away and sinking his fingers into his longish brown hair. He groaned a little under his breath. “I just can’t…” He tried to go around the situation, but he knew there was no way out. He had to tell the other judge what he really was thinking. “Woohyun-ah you’re being ridiculous. You’ve been so supportive of him until now. Why do you want to eliminate him?” Jaejoong went closer to Woohyun and saw that he was wiping tears from his cheeks. Woohyun turned to look at the other judge before he confessed.

“I can’t put him through because after he enters the final round he’ll become famous and I don’t want him to become famous…” He tried to reason, but he knew it didn’t do so he took another breath. Jaejoong was shocked and couldn’t understand the other’s reason until he heard the final words. “He can’t become famous, because... Then I can't love him anymore. I love him, hyung. I'm in love with Kim Sunggyu...”


	6. 사랑하기 위한 도전 (A challenge to love someone)

Jaejoong listened to Woohyun’s confession and he could only look at the younger man with wide eyes. He was absolutely astonished by the other’s confession about loving someone and yet someone being a contestant in the audition. He sighed and lowered his head, trying to gather himself together and think of something to say. He looked up at Woohyun who was looking at him with his eyes filled with shock and yet desperation. Jaejoong sighed and placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. “Woohyun-ah… I’m seriously confused right now. So you’re telling me you love him? But how can you know that if you have been seeing each other ever since he auditioned?”

Jaejoong was so curious why the situation came to be as it was. He knew the other man’s feelings as he had gone through similar in the past. Well except that the other half was his fellow member who was straight as an arrow and he couldn’t get through to him even how much he tried. After some things happened and they had to be separated from each other the other man realized what he was missing. He also realized what he really felt and they’ve been meeting secretly until now as the situation in the group was known to be completely broken and the members that were separated haven’t been contacting each other at all. Jaejoong sighed again and looked at Woohyun who was trying to stop the tears.

Woohyun looked at Jaejoong and continued to dry the tears that fell from his eyes, but they wouldn’t stop. “I can’t tell you precisely what happened between us, but I know for sure that I really like him. To me it was love at first sight. He also knows how I feel and that’s why I’m trying to stop him from going through. I know he likes me back, but he’s not accepting my confession. Hyung, he’s denying me because we’re just a judge and a contestant for now. If he gets eliminated he goes back to what he was and then we’re not a judge and a contestant anymore. I know I sound selfish, but I’m scared hyung. What if he wins the show? What if he wins and turns into a big star, then there’s no room for me,” Woohyun was overreacting and Jaejoong knew that. He just chuckled while patting the other’s shoulder.

“Yah, my dongsaeng is all grown up. I have to agree with you though. If he gets famous the two of you meeting frequently will be really unlikely, but think about it the other way around. If you were him and Sunggyu was you would you love someone who stole away your dream? Or would you love someone who supported you until the end? Because I’m voting for him and I know Dambi nuna is also voting for him to go through so you just need to say yes and it’s done. He’s in the final five and one step closer to being famous. Woohyun-ah, I know you’re scared, but this is also something you two need to really talk about. I bet this is as hard for Sunggyu as it is for you. If you really love him then you should trust him and support him until the end, hm?” Jaejoong tried to talk some sense to the younger guy, but Woohyun didn’t seem to take his words that well. He was still debating if he should listen to Jaejoong or just do as he wishes.

Woohyun took a deep breath and nodded, finally understanding what Jaejoong was trying to say to him. “I know hyung. I think you’re right. I should support him instead of breaking his dream that he has worked so hard for. I’m voting him to go through.” Woohyun said before turning around and walking back inside to the audition site. The remaining contestants were whispering to each other and Sunggyu looked at Woohyun when he returned, looking confused. Woohyun lowered his gaze before taking his seat and grabbed the microphone. “I’m sorry for the delay everyone. Let’s continue with the remaining contestants.” He lowered the microphone and turned to Jaejoong who was sitting on his left, smiling at him and bowing his head a little as a thank you.

They continued with the remaining contestants’ performances and Sunggyu was standing in the back fiddling with his microphone. He became even more nervous when he saw Woohyun storm out like that, worrying that it was because of their current situation. Sunggyu took a deep breath before he raised his eyes towards Woohyun who was smiling at him, mouthing something to him that seemed like ‘Meet me in the backstage after this’ and Sunggyu nodded his agreement.

Jaejoong picked up his microphone when everyone had done their performances to announce they would discuss and make their decisions. Woohyun of course complied and gave his opinions and when they had decided on who they were going to pick Jaejoong again made the announcements. “So everyone we’ve made our decision for the final five that would compete for the winning title in two weeks. You were all really good and I’m sad to send some of you away, but decisions needs to be made. I’ll call the finalists names one by one and you can exit the stage on the right while the others whose name I don’t call can exit the stage on the left. The finalists are Kang Seungyoon, Lee Minji, Park Jaekyung, Min Yoongi and finally Kim Sunggyu. Congratulations everyone and also a big thank you for the other contestants. I hope you make it big sooner or later,” Jaejoong smiled and lowered his microphone before starting to gather his things.

Sunggyu’s eyes widened when he heard his name, his eyes never leaving Woohyun who seemed a little upset and yet happy at the same time. He exited the stage with Kang Seungyoon who was patting his back and congratulating him. He nodded and smiled back before going backstage. He waved the others off and started to wait for Woohyun. He leaned against the wall and took deep breaths, still not believing that he made it to the final five. A big smile made its way on his face and everything seemed so unreal for him. He was again one step closer to his final dream and it would come true in two weeks.

Woohyun opened the backstage door and noticed Sunggyu smiling widely while being slightly giddy. It made him smile as well when he saw the other man so happy like that. He walked closer and stood in front of Sunggyu, smiling at him. “Are you really that happy?” He asked slightly joking which turned Sunggyu’s smile upside down, frowning at him. “Why wouldn’t I be? I finally get to sing on the big stage that has been my dream for years. Besides why did you run off like that during my performance? Did I upset you in some way?” Sunggyu questioned which made Woohyun sigh and lean against the wall next to him.

“If I’m honest your performance unsettled me. You were doing so well today and when I heard you sing those songs like they were a letter to me it made me really question if I really want to let you through. Because if I let you through you’re going to perform on national television and after that your face is known and what if you really win the whole program then it would be even harder for you and I to meet. You know how much I care about you and it would make it even harder for us. It’s hard for me to see someone and yet it’s so easy for you because no one knows who you really are, but if you become famous then it will be hard on both of us. When you were singing all those scenarios kept playing in my head and I realized that I was scared,” Woohyun tried to reason, but when he lifted his head that he had lowered he noticed how upset Sunggyu looked.

“So you thought it was okay to be selfish?” Sunggyu questioned and Woohyun nodded his head. “Selfish yes, but after I stormed out and had a talk with Jaejoong hyung he made me realize that if I was selfish and took away your dream you would probably never talk to me again. Jaejoong actually said a really good thing. He said that if you take away someone’s dream you cannot expect them to love you back, but if you support the one you love he’ll appreciate it and love you back. Isn’t it right?” Woohyun looked at Sunggyu and smiled at him, reaching for his hand and holding it.

“That’s why I decided not to be selfish and let you through to support you and your dream. Because I care about you to achieve what you deserve,” Woohyun continued to look into Sunggyu’s eyes and he noticed there were tears in his eyes. Sunggyu held onto Woohyun’s hand and nodded, taking a step closer. “Thank you, Woohyun. You have no idea what all of this means to me. It’s like I’m reborn again and going through all the stages to become something I really want to be. It means a lot to me that you’re doing all of this for me,” Sunggyu stood in front of Woohyun and held onto his hand before he leaned closer to press their lips together.

Woohyun was surprised by Sunggyu’s advancement at first, but after a second he closed his eyes and cupped Sunggyu’s cheek with his free hand, kissing him back. Sunggyu hummed in approval and pressed himself closer to Woohyun, wrapping his arm around the other man’s waist. They stayed like that for a while before Sunggyu broke the kiss, leaving a final peck on Woohyun’s lips before smiling at him again. “I’ll text you my address later and come over when you’re free. I want us to get to know each other more, okay?” Woohyun nodded and smiled back, pecking Sunggyu’s lips final time before he broke away from the wall and Sunggyu moved away from him.

“I better get going. My manager is probably looking for me by now. I’ll come by I promise. I want to hear how your training is going so text me or call me when you’re free. I’ll miss you,” Woohyun squeezed Sunggyu’s hand one last time before he let go and started to walk away towards the exit, walking to the foyer of the concert hall where he noticed his manager was waiting with a slightly upset look on his face. 

“I thought you ran off somewhere. Come on let’s go we need to head to the salon to get your make-up done before heading to your next schedule,” Woohyun’s manager said before escorting Woohyun to the van. Woohyun turned to take one last look of the exit where he saw Sunggyu coming out with a sad smile on his face, waving at him before he turned away again and exited the building.

Sunggyu sighed when he saw Woohyun leave like that, like a top star. He realized that Woohyun was constantly watched when his manager was around and he would go through the same if he becomes famous. Especially then he’ll be a rookie all over again and the watching would be even more severe. He took his phone from his pocket and texted Dongwoo along with Myungsoo that he made it to the final five. Both of them send replies only a moment later congratulating him and promising to treat a meal. 

Sunggyu went over to the staff to receive his practice timetable, looking at it made him realize that he was going to practice vocals and performance skills from morning until late evening. He thanked them for their hard work before exiting the building, welcomed by the chilly breeze of the winter. He couldn’t help his heart feeling heavy and he knew that the next two weeks along with the final stage won’t be easy. He knows he needs to come clean who he really is, but if he says that he’s SG on national television would people believe him? He would think about that later, but for now he would just head back home to get some rest. A new page will be turned tomorrow after all.

Sunggyu woke up to his alarm the next morning and he groaned while getting up from the bed. He took a quick shower before wearing a pair of ripped jeans, a tank top with a red checked shirt on top. He wore a pair of sneakers before putting on a wool coat to keep him warm. He took his bag with all necessary items for vocal practice and left outside to the bus stop. He went to the practice room and he showed his identification at the entrance before they allowed him to enter. He was directed to one of the practice rooms and opened the door, seeing his vocal trainer had already arrived.

Sunggyu closed the door before bowing. “Hello, my name is Kim Sunggyu. Nice to meet you… Kim Jowan-seonsaengnim!” His eyes widened when he noticed that his vocal trainer was the same person that trained him years ago for his debut. His vocal trainer’s eyes widened before he rushed over to him. “Sunggyu-yah, what are you doing here? Why are you participating in this program?” His vocal trainer grabbed Sunggyu’s hands and he was obviously in shock, having so many questions to ask. Sunggyu led his vocal trainer to sit down before he explained everything to him. “I can’t live as SG anymore. I tried to persuade my company to let me come out to show who I really am, but they refused. The only option I had was this and I already got this far just with my skills. I can’t turn back now,” Sunggyu tried to reason and Jowan nodded his head, smiling at him.

“I knew you would change your mind eventually. You were so excited back then and I wouldn’t be surprised that you would want a piece of the real fame that every other singer have. You know the downsides, right? You’ll be watched and you won’t have a moment of peace when you show who you really are,” Sunggyu nodded and smiled at his mentor, holding his hands tight. “I know seonsaengnim. This is what I really want and I’m willing to risk the career I have now for this. I’m sure that a bigger company will take me in and let me shine. It’s not just the stage where I want to sing, but also guest in TV programs and guest in radio shows,” Jowan nodded with a smile, standing up. “Then we better train you well, hm?” Jowan chuckled before heading over to the standing microphone.

Sunggyu followed after his mentor and stood in front of the microphone, clearing his throat. “Show me what you got, Sunggyu-yah,” Jowan patted Sunggyu’s shoulder before taking a step back, letting Sunggyu sing without music in front of the microphone. Sunggyu closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting the first notes slip from his tongue and flow. Jowan closed his eyes as well and listened to Sunggyu’s singing, smiling when he felt how much the younger man had improved.

Sunggyu sang his self-composed song from yesterday 41 Days and even if he hadn’t practiced it that much it just came out of him naturally. He let his hand rise to the microphone from the side of the stand, grabbing it. He kept his eyes closed when he poured out his heart, immersing himself to the song even more. He sang few more notes before he stopped and opened his eyes, looking at his mentor. 

Jowan opened his eyes when Sunggyu stopped and a big smile rose to his face. “You’ve become really good, Sunggyu-yah. I mean when I trained you, you were really good, but it’s like time has made you even better. I heard your third album is coming out next week. Will you be okay with that?” The older man asked to which Sunggyu nodded his head with a smile. “I know and I’m okay with it. If I have interviews I get the questions sent to me and I can write my answers when I go back home. I don’t have anything else to do after all,” Sunggyu said a little sadly and lowered his head to sigh, ruffling his hair a little.

“This is what I’m talking about. I don’t have anything to do. I just record an album, write my interview answers at home and send them to the company before they take it forward and that’s it. I used to love the freedom, but now the freedom is suffocating me. I would rather be suffocated by being too busy than being too free,” Sunggyu sat down on the chair behind him and Jowan walked over to him, patting his shoulder. “I know Sunggyu-yah. Believe me I know what you’re going through. But we’re going to work hard, okay?” Sunggyu lifted his head and nodded, twisting his neck a little to ease his muscles, smiling. “Let’s do this!” He shouted enthusiastically before getting back to practice.

After that Sunggyu barely left the practice room and just kept singing, singing and singing over again. He went to the other room in the building to practice for his performances and the days went by like that. He sent a text to Woohyun everyday and told him how he was doing and what was difficult for him. Woohyun would send a reply of encouragement and some tips to the things Sunggyu found difficult. 

It was 6 days before the national broadcast when Sunggyu came to the practice room again after sleeping at home to notice that when he tried to sing his voice didn’t come out. He hadn’t spoken all morning so he couldn’t know that he wasn’t okay so when he tried to sing he noticed what was wrong. It was the first time something like this had ever happened to him and he couldn’t help but to feel panic rise in him. Sunggyu’s hands started to shake and he took a seat next to the wall, trying to get his voice out with no use. Sunggyu’s mentor came in and noticed the state the younger man was in, rushing over to him. “Sunggyu-yah, are you okay?” He asked to which Sunggyu just shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. He pointed at his throat and tried to say something, but nothing came out.

Jowan sighed and sat down next to Sunggyu, rubbing his forehead. “I think we’ve worked too much, Sunggyu. You have overworked your voice so that’s why it doesn’t come out. Ah, I think we need to stop practicing and you go home to rest. Go to the hospital just in case for a check-up and go home. Drink lots of warm tea and don’t try to say anything, okay? Everything will be just fine,” Jowan tried to cheer Sunggyu up, but still the other man was on the verge of tears. If he doesn’t get well then he cannot perform and then it’s all over.

Sunggyu hasn’t felt this scared in his whole life and just the fact that his voice is gone just makes things even worse. Is there a way to get his voice back?


	7. 성공을 위한 도전 (A challange to succeed)

Sunggyu left the practice room to visit the hospital he regularly goes to for check-ups. When he arrived they took some tests and then he was directed to the doctor’s office for the final check-up. The doctor looked into Sunggyu’s throat with a laryngoscope and looked at the screen, frowning at the image. He completed his examination before he took a deep breath and looked at Sunggyu. “I’m afraid your vocal cords have caught an infection which is shown as the symptoms that you have. The only thing we can do is start a medication for the infection and most importantly you must not speak. You can try once or twice a day, but don’t overdo yourself. We need to watch in time what happens,” The doctor stood up and Sunggyu followed, bowing before leaving the room with his description, going to the hospital pharmacy to pick up his medication.

Sunggyu grabbed a taxi before leaving back home, feeling tears welling up in his eyes again. He picked up his phone and sent a text message to Woohyun. ‘Come as soon as you can. I’m at home and I need you’ Sunggyu pressed send and leaned against the seat, looking outside. He was unable to hold back his tears as they kept falling down his cheeks, which he wiped away angrily. He let himself down and he was mad because of it. He never overdid himself this much to hurt his vocal cords and that’s what also made him confused.

He wiped the falling tears with the sleeve of his coat, looking at his phone and getting a reply from Woohyun. ‘What happened? Did they say anything to you? It might take a while to get there as I’m in the middle of schedule, but I’ll come as soon as I can, okay?’ Woohyun replied back and Sunggyu noticed how alarmed and worried the younger man was, bringing a small smile to his face. Sunggyu just sent back an okay and kept looking outside. He arrived home sooner than expected, paid the driver and quietly got out.   
He went up to his apartment and immediately grabbed some water from the fridge to eat the prescription that he was given. He grabbed a hold on the kitchen countertop and let his head sink down between his arms. He sighed and could feel tears coming back again. He hated this feeling. He hated this feeling of being useless and completely lost. Other than sometimes drowning in self-pity because he was not happy with how things were, but this feeling felt much worse than that.

Sunggyu took off his coat and put it back on its place in the closet before walking to his wall high windows, looking at the beautiful view outside. He had failed as a professional and his disappointment kept coming back to him like waves, making him feel it even stronger each passing moment. He should just gather himself together and try to make things better, but no matter how much he tried he was stuck in one place. That’s why he needed Woohyun, because he could bring a smile back on his face.

The evening rolled by and Sunggyu was flipping channels from the TV, looking up at the clock on the wall and noticing it was getting late. He sighed as he got a feeling Woohyun won’t be able to come. He was just walking to the kitchen to make himself some chicken soup when the doorbell rang, skipping over to the monitor next to the front door and noticing Woohyun there. He immediately smiled and quickly opened the door. Woohyun had a very troubled expression on his face and his eyes went wide when Sunggyu hugged him.

“What’s the matter? You sounded so down in your message, is everything okay?” Woohyun quickly asked before breaking away from the older man who was shaking his head, opening his mouth but no voice came out. Woohyun quickly rushed inside and pulled Sunggyu along, closing the door. He placed his hands on the other’s biceps and looked into his eyes. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you saying anything?” Woohyun was panicking now and Sunggyu just took his hand and lead him to his study room, taking a pen and paper before writing down what he wanted to say.

‘I woke up this morning and my voice was gone. I went to the doctor’s and they said it’s an infection. I can’t speak a word and I was so scared…’ Sunggyu managed to write before Woohyun snatched the notepad from him, looking at it before his eyes went wide. “Hyung… Oh god how did this happen? The final is four days away and you lost your voice, what now?” Woohyun obviously didn’t have a filter because he said what came to his mind. Sunggyu frowned and snatched the notepad back, writing on it.

‘You don’t have to remind me, you know? I know perfectly well what this looks like and I’m mad at myself for being this stupid!’ He wrote down before showing it to the younger man whose expression immediately got soft, sighing. “I’m sorry I just said what first came into my mind I didn’t think through. Of course you’re the one having the hardest time. I’m sorry,” Woohyun spoke softly and walked over to Sunggyu, wrapping his arms around his waist from the side, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder.

Sunggyu sighed as his shoulders relaxed, placing his hands on Woohyun’s as the younger man kept holding him. He looked outside at the street lights illuminating the sidewalks with people walking by looking content and relaxed. He wished that he didn’t have to worry like this and could just practice with a comfortable mind. He really wanted to win and now he was so far away from that dream. Sunggyu looked at Woohyun and stroked his hair, smiling down at him. He broke away before taking the notepad again and writing down. ‘I’m glad that you came. I feel better already’ He showed it to Woohyun who smiled back.

“I’m glad, hyung. Everything will be fine, okay? Believe me…” Woohyun said gently before going over to Sunggyu again, taking his hand and holding it tightly. “When the competition is over next week I have a wish for you,” Woohyun said gently while looking down at their joined hands. Sunggyu squeezed his hand and wrote to the notepad with his free hand. ‘What kind of wish?’ Woohyun smiled and looked at Sunggyu, moving some hair away from his eyes. “I want to go on a date with you. It won’t be anything fancy, but just you and me. I want you to be my boyfriend, officially.”

Sunggyu smiled and leaned close to Woohyun, planting a soft peck on his cheek and nodding his head. He wrote on the paper again before showing it to Woohyun. ‘I would love that’. The younger man grinned before wrapping his arms around Sunggyu in a tight hug, holding him close. 

“I’m so happy, hyung. You know, when I kissed you in the recording studio when we first met I didn’t even know what I was doing. The whole thing is still a blur to me,” Woohyun chuckled which earned a smile from Sunggyu and a nod as a signal to keep going. “When you told me that you liked men I felt so liberated to find someone who was the same as me. It’s hard to actually find someone to date in this business and even harder if you like guys. My heart just went to you after you told me who you were. My fanboy crush was obviously bigger than just a crush,” Woohyun chuckled again and locked his eyes with Sunggyu, smiling at him.

“We might not know each other that well and it seems like the pace we’re going is a bit too fast, but I’m acting like this because my heart tells me to. I won’t hold back when expressing how much I care about you and I hope you know that all of my words and acts come through my heart. I really like you,” Sunggyu smiled widely, cupping Woohyun’s cheeks before he planted a kiss on the other’s lips. He broke away to grab the notepad again, writing down.

‘I know that and if I’m honest when we first met the pace was fast. I mean we both confessed a lot of things and then you kissed me and everything, but I’m glad that we started fast because now we can take things slow and get to know each other more. Just continue to like me like you do now,” Sunggyu showed the paper to Woohyun who smiled and nodded, taking the older man’s hand again and leading him over to the kitchen. 

He took ingredients from the fridge and started to make dinner for them. Sunggyu frowned when he watched Woohyun going around in his kitchen, looking for pans and ingredients. Sunggyu tapped Woohyun’s shoulder and pointed at what he was doing, obviously asking what he was doing. Woohyun chuckled as he understood what Sunggyu was trying to ask, putting his hands on his waist proudly. “I’m making us dinner. You must be hungry so just sit down and wait, okay?”

Sunggyu was shooed over to the barstools and he took a seat, watching when Woohyun cooked their dinner. He rested his elbow on the counter and leaned against his hand, watching the other working and it made him smile. He started to realize that more he saw Woohyun doing things and just being normal made him fall for him more. He realized that maybe he was the one he was looking for after all, realizing why all of his previous relationships were failures. It brought a smile to his face when he realized that he really liked the other man as well and planned on telling him soon enough.

They ate dinner after Woohyun completed it, complaining that because he wasn’t in his own kitchen the food tasted bad. Sunggyu thought it was delicious though and kept giving thumbs up, but the younger man wouldn’t believe him. Sunggyu pouted and finished his food before doing the dishes. Woohyun walked over to him and wrapped his arms around the other from behind, holding him tightly. 

“You look like a housewife from behind. I think you should just become my housewife if you don’t succeed with the competition,” Sunggyu elbowed Woohyun to his side and the younger man winced in pain, whining that he didn’t deserve it. Sunggyu chuckled and went back to doing the dishes and Woohyun just kept holding onto him, watching his handwork over his shoulder. Moments like these were like heaven to Woohyun. They were just normal citizens, not SG or singer Nam Woohyun. Woohyun thought that moments like these should be treasured.

After Sunggyu finished the dishes he went over to the other side of the kitchen to take the next dose of his medication. He downed the pills with the remaining water he left there and turned to Woohyun who was leaning against the counter while holding onto the edge. The younger man smiled at Sunggyu and just kept looking at him. Sunggyu quirked his brow when he looked at the other man who just chuckled.

“You know… When we’re like this I feel like we’re just normal citizens instead of top stars. I could really live like this and have no regrets. I really put a lot of thoughts to our future if you manage to debut with your face and I realized that it’s impossible for us to be like this. I mean we can date in secrecy for a while, but it’s going to be revealed sooner or later and honestly I’m scared,” Woohyun lowered his head and Sunggyu walked over to him, raising his hand to stroke the other man’s hair and kiss his hair.

Sunggyu reached out for his cellphone in his pocket before he quickly typed. ‘I’m not scared. If people won’t accept us for who we are then why should we keep entertaining them? In my opinion they don’t deserve to have people like us singing for them if they can’t accept who we love,’ Sunggyu wrote down and showed it to Woohyun who smiled sadly, nodding before cupping Sunggyu’s cheeks and pulling him for a kiss.

Woohyun first started the kiss slow before he felt something inside to urge him on and started to kiss Sunggyu passionately who could just gasp and sink his fingers to the younger man’s hair. Sunggyu leaned against Woohyun before the other turned them around so that Sunggyu was leaning against the counter and he was leaning on him. The older tugged on Woohyun’s hair and pressed their faces even closer before they broke the kiss for air.

Woohyun rested his forehead on Sunggyu’s and a huge grin broke on his lips, pecking the older man’s lips before he broke away. “I have to go back home. My manager is going to call me any moment now and demand I go back home, like babysitting is one of their occupations,” Woohyun chuckled sadly before looking at Sunggyu again, cupping his cheek and stroking it before he leaned in for a brief kiss. 

“Sleep well and I’ll text you tomorrow to check how you’re coping, okay?” Sunggyu nodded at Woohyun and took his hand while he escorted him to the door where the younger man’s shoes were. The younger released his hand and stepped over the threshold onto the tiles, putting on his sneakers he was wearing when he came. He was standing by the door and looked at Sunggyu longingly. Sunggyu leaned against the closet door next to the threshold when he looked back at the other, a smile tugging at his lips. 

He raised his hand to do a small wave, but Woohyun took few steps forward before kissing Sunggyu one last time. They savored each other’s lips for a moment before Woohyun broke away, waving a little sadly before he opened the door and closed it behind him. He leaned against the closed door and felt his heart tugging and yearning to go back to Sunggyu. He knew he couldn’t stay there longer so he gathered himself together before heading over to the elevators, ruffling his hair in the process.

Sunggyu was surprised after they kissed and looked at Woohyun’s retreating back when he left his apartment. He sighed and leaned against the door, a hand clutching onto his shirt over his heart. It pained him that they couldn’t spend more time together which he would love really much. He knew this was going to be hard for them and yet he decided to try and make things work. He just wasn’t sure what was ahead of them if they continue this. Only time shows…


	8. 불한감을 잃기 위한 도전 (A challenge to forget about uncertainty)

Sunggyu woke up the next morning feeling happy after spending last night with Woohyun and he could feel that they became even closer than they were before. He was relieved that the other man wanted to become someone special to him and Sunggyu was willing to take the risk if they could both be happy.

He was always afraid of dating celebrities and now he was so close to become one, yet he decided against all of his odds to except Woohyun’s proposal to date him. The whole idea of Woohyun brought a smile to his face and he grabbed his cellphone from the bedside table, looking at the messages they exchanged before he fell asleep and noticing there were new ones as well. 

‘Good morning! How are you feeling today? I wish I could be your nurse and look after you, but stupid manager hyung said I had schedule today :( I’ll come by when I can and bring something good to eat, okay? Message me if you miss me or something’ Sunggyu smiled at Woohyun’s sweet message and he felt so content that the other man cared so much for him. He was amazed how fast things progressed between them like they had been lovers for a long time already.

Sunggyu got up from the bed after sending his reply and went to the kitchen to take his prescription. He grabbed a fresh bottle of water from the fridge and took the meds with it, looking at his empty kitchen. Yesterday felt so relaxing and he just felt alive. He realized that maybe what he needed all along was someone to love him and someone he could love back, but his greed to break away and succeed blinded him.

He started to think that maybe it was a good thing that he lost his voice so he didn’t have to participate in the final, but after thinking through for a while he realized that even if love was a reason he needed to break free his thoughts always ended on that very stage, standing in front of hundreds and thousands of people. He sighed as he was pulled between two options again. He can just heal himself slowly and drop out from the competition or try to heal quicker and participate in the final that’s held in four days.

He drank some more water before he tried to say something, but nothing came out. He groaned silently before trying again, but nothing came out again. He went to his water purifier and took some warm water instead, drinking it and then he tried again. He could muster out small voices, but it wasn’t enough to even say a proper phrase. Sunggyu was determined that he can make this work and didn’t try to do anything for the rest of the day. He went through the lyrics for his first song and he still hadn’t made his mind for the second song, as they will sing two in a few days.

Sunggyu sat on his couch with a paper and pen in hand, trying to write down his options. He bit his lip as he pondered what he should sing and then he came up with something and wrote down the name of the song, immediately running over to his home studio and turning on the song. 

He hesitated when he started to listen to it, but he knew this was the correct one. He wants to be SG on stage even if no one knows it’s really him. That’s why he decided to sing his own song 60 Seconds. He knows it’s a huge risk and people would start thinking that he sounds so familiar to SG and that’s why he also made one of the biggest decisions of his life.

He’s going to come out in a national broadcast. He’s going to tell who he is during the last interview, because he needs to remove the huge burden from his shoulders. Sunggyu knew that this couldn’t go on anymore. He needs to let everything out in order to start anew or just forget the past that once was for him. He can return to those small stages even if it will be a small club or just a bar, but at least he’ll have the stage that he always wanted.

He took out his phone and sent a message to his vocal trainer and the production crew telling them what song he’s going to perform on his last stage. The production crew send their okays in a few moments later, but his vocal trainer’s message came shortly afterwards. ‘Sunggyu-yah… I believe you know what you’re doing and remember that I’m by your side. Just get your voice back and amaze everyone on stage. I have faith in you’

Sunggyu smiled at his vocal trainer’s answer and he knew that it was the right thing to do. He could bet that Woohyun will not take it lightly and will be mad at him, but he needs to do this. It’s the final step he needs to take ever since he started this whole thing. Sunggyu walked over to the arm chair in the corner of the room and sat down, leaning back as he listened to 60 Seconds playing in the background.

He tried to get as much rest as he could possibly get, but as the final was nearing he got even more nervous as days went by. He had sent messages few days earlier to Myungsoo and Dongwoo, inviting them to come and watch him. Of course they said they would come and bring their boyfriends along, which of course Sunggyu agreed to. They’re his only family members in Seoul after all. He hasn’t even told his own mother about doing this. She’s probably coming straightly to Seoul from Jeonju when she hears about what he did.

Sunggyu rested and tried to gain his voice back as much as he could so that he’ll get his final moments with the stage before he lets out the truth. On the day of the final his voice came back, but only barely. He tried not to talk at all when he arrived to the location, writing on paper what he wanted to say, saying and explaining that he’s saving his voice which the production crew understood. 

Just when Sunggyu had just finished getting his make-up done he walked out from the dressing room to go to the bathroom, but on the way he ran to Woohyun who sneakily took his hand and lead him to one of the storage rooms. The moment the door closed Woohyun pressed him against the wall next to the door and kissed him, one hand on Sunggyu’s waist and one stroking his cheek. They broke away after a while and they both smiled at each other before they said in unison. “I missed you,” Woohyun chuckled before leaning in for a small peck, breaking away from Sunggyu.

“I hope you do well today. I’m sure that you’re going to amaze the crowd because I have faith in you,” Sunggyu smiled before kissing Woohyun’s cheek. “I’m going to do my best, but before I go back there’s one thing I need to tell you. I’m…” Sunggyu paused while biting his lip, not able to look at Woohyun. “I’m going to confess during the final interview before the voting ends. I’m going to tell who I really am and the last song I’m going to perform is one of my own,” Sunggyu explained and Woohyun broke away from Sunggyu, shaking his head in shock.

“No no no! You can’t do that! You realize that not only will you get your contract terminated with your current label, but people will look down on you and they’ll deny you. You might never be able to show your face in the music business again. Will you be happy with that?” Woohyun questioned skeptically, ruffling his already styled hair, hands resting on his hips as he tried to understand what was going on. “I can’t let you do that… I just can’t!”

Sunggyu sighed and walked over to Woohyun, taking his hand that the younger yanked away before he took it again, holding it tightly. “You remember when we first met? I told you the reason why I wanted to do this in the first place. I wanted to stand on stage and sing in front of thousands of people. This is already my dream come true and if it ruins my career then so be it. I’m willing to take the risk and I just want to let everyone know who the person behind SG’s voice is. I need to take off my mask so I can be free. It’s the final load on my shoulders that I have,” Sunggyu tried to explain with tears in his eyes as he was hurt that Woohyun who had so much faith in him and cared so much about him would turn against him again.

Woohyun could only sigh before looking at the older man. He took a step closer, removing Sunggyu’s hand from his grip before wrapping his arms around him in a hug. “I hope you know what you’re doing…” Woohyun broke away coldly and opened the door, looking around before he slipped outside and walked back to his dressing room with a heavy heart filled with fear. He feared what will happen to Sunggyu if he comes out. It will be all over the news and people will talk badly about him. He didn’t want him to experience that because he already has had his own fair share of hate. All of this can end well, but one thing is for sure. Sunggyu will get hurt.

Sunggyu let the tears fall before sinking down onto the floor, dirtying his clothes he was wearing. He cried silently and let Woohyun’s words sink in. The younger man was right; as a matter of fact he was spot on with his words. That’s what’s going to happen to him if people, his fans and others won’t accept him. He sighed before quickly wiping away the tears, standing up and walking back to his dressing room but before he went to the bathroom he originally planned to go to. The make-up artists scolded him for ruining his eye make-up and he had to apologize for doing so.

His make-up was fixed and he was dressed to his first stage outfit. He looked at himself from the mirror, putting the ear monitors to place and opening his voice. He still felt that his throat wasn’t well, but he kept drinking water and warming his voice. He was lead to the side of the stage where he’ll enter from his own entrance when the other contestants would use other entrances. He lowered his head and took a deep breath before he was given a signal to enter.

He walked over to the edge of the stage before his name was called by the MC and he entered the stage. The concert hall was completely packed with people and he smiled when walking over to the right side of the stage, standing last in line. He looked at the people that had arrived and his eyes landed on his friends who were sitting on the floor area, waving at him. 

He smiled before turning his gaze to the center where he saw Woohyun. His heart felt immediately heavy again and he tried to avoid looking at Woohyun. It will be even harder for him to concentrate if he looked at the younger man. Luckily when the five contestants were standing on stage the MC came over to interview him. He gave short answers not to strain his voice and bowed a little when his turn was over.

They were all excused to backstage where they’ll wait for their turn. Sunggyu took deep breaths as he leaned against a wall. Seungyoon walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hyung, are you okay?” Seungyoon asked out of concern and Sunggyu just smiled before patting the younger boy back on his shoulder. “Yeah, just a little nervous that’s all,” Sunggyu smiled before taking a bottle of water and having a sip again. He was the last to perform so he had a while to wait. He took a seat on one of the chairs and looked up at the monitors that were placed there so he could see the stage, the crowd and the judges.

Woohyun looked really troubled and he sighed as he tried to stop his thoughts going to that man. It will only make him feel even worse than he already felt. He lowered his head and just kept listening to the other contestants, listening to the judges’ comments on their performances. It took a good 45 minutes before it was his turn to go on stage. He warmed up one last time before muttering a small prayer and going over to the back of the stage behind the large screen doors.

Sunggyu heard the first notes of the song and he closed his eyes, letting the song sink in before the doors opened in front of him and he started to sing and walk forward to the center of the stage where a microphone stand was waiting for him. “We sit next to each other in the car but there is no music. I always held your left hand but now you’re picking at your lips. I know what you’re going to say, please don’t say it. Don’t know why… Don’t know why… I want to draw out each minute, each second, but the empty road rushes me on…”

Sunggyu took a deep breath before continuing again, feeling the song running through him and feeling the lyrics he wanted to express. “After going round and round I arrive at your house that’s so familiar and tears fall. After spending a long day finding this place I feel like I am lost… Please don’t, please don’t leave. Don’t know why… Don’t know why… It’s not even raining but outside the window you grow white and farther apart…”

He finally opened his eyes and looked over at Woohyun, locking eyes with him as he sang. “Letting you go is not as easy as it sounds. I turn away, not being able to see you leave me. Tears eventually drop and I need to wipe them away now. I don’t know whether I should use the handkerchief you gave me or throw it away. Why won’t this trembling go away? I pretend to be crazy and hold onto you but my body won’t listen to me. Intoxicated with the scent of you in the car I don’t want to wake up forever…”

Tears were falling from Sunggyu’s eyes now as he poured his soul into the song, as a matter of fact the song was exactly like him when he tried to get over a break up he had with his longtime boyfriend Doojoon few years ago. The man eventually cheated on him, but he wanted to be with him anyway. What a naïve man he was back then and that’s what made him sing with a passion he didn’t know he had. “Please don’t (please) don’t leave please (please)… Come back (come back) come back (come back)… On top of the empty seat you left only your cold scent remains… Please don’t, please don’t leave… Come back (come back) come back (come back)… I will hold onto the remaining scent so come back to your place…”

Sunggyu lowered his hands from the microphone and the crowd started to roar with applauds. He was exhausted and his voice was disappearing again, feeling it would be gone in any minute. He tried to hold himself together as he looked at the judges who were standing and applauding at him. He felt so relieved that he did well and he couldn’t help but to look at Woohyun again who was lowering his head to hide that he’s crying.

Sunggyu listened to Kim Jaejoong’s and Son Dambi’s comments only as Woohyun couldn’t speak and only tried to keep his head low. Jaejoong even joked that he’s so touched that he’s speechless because it was partly true. Woohyun felt Sunggyu’s pain so intensively that it completely opened him up. He came to know a part of Sunggyu that he didn’t have a chance to get to know yet. He realized that he needs to know more and more. He needs to know as much as the older man is willing to tell him.

Sunggyu thanked the audience before disappearing backstage, going over to his dressing room to get changed for his final performance. He changed to his final stage outfit and the make-up artists fixed his make-up again before he was sent back backstage to wait for his turn. He sat anxiously on his chair, shaking all over after his first performance and he was scared what was going to happen in a few moments.

Sunggyu realized that this is it. It’s the moment when he’s taking off his mask to reveal his hidden self. He will get rid of his label as the hidden singer…


	9. 가면을 버리는 도전 (A challenge to throw away the mask)

Sunggyu took a deep breath as he took his position on the side of the stage. He received his cue to walk on stage and it was completely dark as he took his position in front of the standing microphone. He lowered his gaze as the lights went on and took a deep breath again before he started to sing the first notes of his song.

“I kept walking when I stopped and looked around – then I met eyes with you. I quickly turned my head and stared at my feet – then I slowly looked up. My eyes widen, my lips slowly part. My heart is ringing in my ears…” Sunggyu was shaking all over when he sang the first verse, raising his gaze to look at Woohyun who was in complete shock. He took a look on the other judges and noticed the confused look on their faces as well as the crowd that was watching him.

Sunggyu gathered his courage as he started the first chorus. “60 seconds is enough for this story. You have entered my heart. I don’t doubt that you have taken me in this not-so-short time. That’s the kind of person you are, a story that’s enough for me. I don’t need a reason. You made my heart flutter and you made me find you – that first time…” He started to relax after completing the first chorus and took the microphone from the stand, pouring his soul to the song.

“Your voice gets choppy and the tears slowly rise and overflow. I hug you in my arms for a while and slowly let you go. My eyes go blank and my lips lost all words. My heart stops at the sound of your sighs…” Sunggyu swallowed the lump in his throat as he continued. “60 seconds is enough for this story. You have disappeared from my life. I didn’t hold onto you, I saw your heart in this not-so-short time. That’s the kind of person you are a story that’s enough for me. Your message has been clearly told. You said you were hurting and I let you go – that last time…”

Sunggyu could feel his voice fading from singing with so much passion but he couldn’t give up now. He had to find the last ounces of strength before this all will be over. His eyes looked over at Woohyun who was ruffling his hair, but as his face was hidden he didn’t know what the other man was feeling. He prayed that he could last until the end and if he lost his voice after it didn’t matter. What mattered to him was this final moment on stage before he confesses who he really is.

“(My two different stories) It was a hot (story) and cold time (with U). Both are memories that you gave to me. (My two different stories) A different you in the same time memories of both days. 60 seconds is enough for this story you have entered my heart. I don’t doubt that you have taken me in this not-so-short time. That’s the kind of person you are, a story that’s enough for me. You disappeared from my life. But I didn’t hold onto you, I saw your heart in that not-so-short time…” Sunggyu felt all energy leave him as he finished the final note and tried to keep standing, but in the end he felt falling on his knees on stage.

He heard the gasps from the audience and the judges were now standing to see if he was okay. He looked in the corner of his eyes at Woohyun who looked worried, but more so he looked really angry. He didn’t want Sunggyu to do this, yet he did what he wanted to do. Someone from the staff rushed over to him to help him stand up, asking if he was okay and if he needed to go to the hospital. Sunggyu shook his head and just whispered in a weak voice that he just needs to rest for a while.

Sunggyu was escorted away from the stage to his dressing room where he sat down on the couch and the staff brought him a bottle of water. He tried to calm down as much as he could, but his heart was pounding like crazy. His heart was beating so fast because he finally got to be himself. He finally got to sing his alias SG’s song as Kim Sunggyu and that’s what made him so excited that the adrenaline running through his veins made his legs give up under him.

He looked at the television hanging on the wall where he could see what was happening on stage when he wasn’t there and the MC kept things professional and calmed the crowd down. They didn’t film on Woohyun but on the corner of the screen he saw that the man kept his face hidden not to show what he was feeling. Sunggyu sighed and the MC announced that they would hold a small break for the news broadcast and also informing about a performing guest. Sunggyu didn’t know who it was and when the lights turned on in the audience he could only sigh as his moment was nearing.

Sunggyu drank the whole bottle of water before standing up on unsteady feet, the staff asking if he should just rest for a little more which he shook his head to that it wasn’t necessary. They left him be as he walked outside to apologize to the staff about worrying them and just in the corner of his eye he saw Woohyun marching over to him. He turned his head away not to notice him but the younger man wouldn’t have it. He walked over to him before whispering “The janitor’s closet. Now,”

Sunggyu waited until Woohyun disappeared before going after him and again he was pushed against the door the minute he stepped into the closet. He felt it. Woohyun was furious and he just kept his eyes away from his as he didn’t want to see those eyes. Woohyun though had plans to look at him in the eyes so the other man grabbed his chin and lifted his face to look at him. He slammed his fist next to Sunggyu’s head.

“I heard the crowd after you collapsed and were escorted from the stage. They kept whispering that you sound just like SG and thinking you’re really SG. Even Jaejoong said that he didn’t notice it before because you sang other artists’ songs, but after you sang SG’s song you sounded just like him and he’s confused. Everyone is confused and they’re so close at getting after you. You can still back away from this and make them believe that you just sound like him…” Woohyun tried to reason while looking desperate and he broke the gaze first to lower his eyes to their feet. Sunggyu raised his hand to the younger man’s cheek before he spoke.

“Woohyun-ah… I’m going to do this whether you like it or not. It’s my decision and not yours. If it ruins my career I’m willingly taking a risk so you don’t need to go this far. Besides we need to go back we don’t have much time,” Sunggyu lowered his hand and turned around to open the door, but Woohyun stopped him before he got to open it, pushing the door closed again and breathing against Sunggyu’s neck.

“I don’t want you to get hurt… If you hurt I hurt too and I can’t take it. I can’t protect you if you do this…” Woohyun whispered and Sunggyu just sighed. “I didn’t ask for your protection. You put me this far and you’re only to blame. You had your times to get rid of me and steal away everything what happened today. You’re the only one to blame, but then again if you didn’t let me get this far I wouldn’t have gotten together with you in the first place…” Sunggyu was burning with rage because Woohyun was just so damn naïve to notice how much this meant to him and how much he’s giving up for his dream.

“You don’t mean that… You can’t mean that!” Woohyun shouted and Sunggyu shushed him to turn his voice down. “I mean every word and if you now excuse me I would like to go on stage and ruin my career and you can’t protect me…” Sunggyu said angrily over his shoulder before opening the door and marching over to his dressing room to wipe some of the sweat and tears that fell down his cheeks. He gathered himself together before he was escorted backstage again to wait until they were called on stage.

Woohyun couldn’t believe that Sunggyu would be this cruel to him. He was trying to stop him, to make him think things through, but the older man wouldn’t have any of it. Woohyun gave him his opportunity to sing on a big stage in front of thousands of people and it wasn’t enough for him. He pulled himself together before walking back to his seat in front of the stage. His heart was heavy and he couldn’t do anything else, but to wait for the moment of truth before it all ended.

The contestants were called on stage to hear the results of the voting and Sunggyu was the last in line to stand. They did a final interview to the other 4 contestants before it was his turn and he answered the questions accordingly before he raised his hand when the interview was about to end. The MC ushered him to speak what he wanted. Sunggyu raised the microphone to his lips again before he started.

“I want to thank everyone who cheered for me today, but there’s something that I want to tell you. There is a reason why I sang SG’s song 60 Seconds as my final song and I heard some comments from the crowd that I sound just like him…” Sunggyu took a deep breath before he finished.

“The reason I sound like SG because I’m him… I’m hidden singer SG and my real name is Kim Sunggyu. I wanted to use this opportunity to let everyone of you know who the man behind that voice is. I deeply apologize if some of you are disappointed and hurt because of this truth, but I have a reason to come out like this,” Sunggyu bit his lip to avoid the tears falling from his eyes and he looked over at Woohyun who was shaking his head and looking away from him.

“I’m sorry that I took part in this audition program even though I had a career, but the truth is that when doing this program I was myself. I was Kim Sunggyu and not hidden singer SG. I was doing this to finally be able to sing on stage and not sing in a studio in front of the microphone where no one else knew me but the staff and my friends. I had to keep myself as a secret for 4 years and I had enough. I couldn’t brag to people how well my albums did on the charts or perform on music shows. The secrecy made me empty and I apologize again even if some of you might not understand. I’m sorry for letting you down…” Sunggyu lowered his head to do a 90 degree bow, staying in that position for a while before standing up straight.

The crowd was wild talking about him and he had to stay calm, trying to hold his tears in. This was it. Finally he felt free with all of the weight lifted, but why did it make him feel like a bigger burden was now being laid on his shoulders. Sunggyu raised his head and kept his gaze down, the crowd getting louder. The MC tried to calm everyone down after what Sunggyu said, but it was a hard task. In the end the staff had to ask for an emergency commercial break to calm the ruckus.

Sunggyu looked at Kim Jaejoong and Son Dambi before lowering his head in shame. He didn’t deserve to be on the show and he knew it. They would make a decision with the staff to disqualify him from the competition and Sunggyu didn’t feel easy at all. Jaejoong and Dambi were discussing with the staff, with Woohyun just listening to the conversation. Jaejoong eventually nodded before grabbing the microphone to speak. “Everyone! May I have your attention please?!”

Woohyun looked at Sunggyu with tears in his eyes, shaking his head again and mouthing ‘You’re on your own’ with Sunggyu acknowledged with a nod. Jaejoong continued with his speech. “After having a discussion with the staff about disqualifying Kim Sunggyu we’ve come to the conclusion that he won’t be disqualified. He’s here as himself, as Kim Sunggyu and we respect his decision. I hope all of you calm down to listen to the final results, thank you,” Jaejoong finished before looking at Sunggyu with a smile while Sunggyu bowed to him a little as a sign of thankfulness.

The MC nodded after receiving orders to inform the final results and from a cue they were back on broadcast. He explained the situation professionally and asked for understanding what happened during the show. He was now telling their ranks from the national vote and Sunggyu was nervously waiting for his own. They said the 5th, 4th and 3rd places but Sunggyu hadn’t still heard his name. He was getting nervous if he wins the show in the end. He didn’t want to and he didn’t have to and would gladly give it to Kang Seungyoon standing beside him.

The MC finally announced his second place while Kang Seungyoon was awarded as the 1st place winner. Sunggyu clapped with others and congratulated him, but Seungyoon held onto his arm to whisper. “I was honored to work with you, sunbae-nim,” Seungyoon smiled before he was forced to hold his winning speech. Sunggyu stepped aside with others and clapped with the crowd. After a while when they left the stage he went to his dressing room to get changed to his own clothes and just go home.

One of the hairstylists came to him with his cellphone and extended it to him. “Someone has been calling you nonstop since now,” She bowed and left to clean up the places. Sunggyu looked at the phone and saw that it was Kim Jongwan, pressing the red button he ignored the call as he couldn’t have him lecture to him and yell at him. He sighed and got changed before heading outside to the street, grabbing a taxi. One stopped next to him a moment later and he told the driver where to go. Gladly he didn’t speak anything on the way and Sunggyu was happy to be by himself.

When he arrived home and paid the driver he saw a text from Woohyun, asking to see him which Sunggyu replied to ‘Later’ and tried to go up to his apartment before he noticed a familiar figure sitting down on the bench next to his complex. Sunggyu’s eyes widened as he noticed who it was and he could swear his heart stopped beating. It was the person he thought he hated. The person stood up before walking closer to him. “I was watching the show with my friends nearby here and saw you on TV. I thought I should come and see how you are… Long time no see Sunggyu-yah,” The person spoke a little too sweetly and Sunggyu wanted to punch his face. He bit his lip before he spoke out loud.

“Long time no see… Yoon Doojoon, the man who broke my heart…”


	10. 옛사랑을 다시 만났을때 아프지만 새로운 사랑을 만났을때 가슴이 다시 뛴다… (When you meet your past love it hurts, but when you meet a new love it makes your heart beat again)

Doojoon chuckled before taking a step closer and Sunggyu took a step backwards, not wanting to be near the other man. “Sunggyu, why are you moving away from me? I’m not going to hurt you if that’s what you’re afraid about. I was honestly worried about you and to be honest when we were dating I knew you were hiding something from me. I didn’t know that the secret was this big. I’m really surprised how you kept that to yourself. You didn’t even trust me enough to tell me what you really were. It hurts me to know that you didn’t trust me,” Doojoon spoke and Sunggyu had to control his anger in front of the other man.

“You didn’t deserve to know. After making me fall for you and treating me like you did I lost my faith and trust in you. I didn’t know what you were capable of if I ever told you what I really am. Who knows what you could have thought about, blackmail maybe or even better you would have told the press and ruined my career. You never loved me as much as I loved you and I watched you play with me for almost two years before I was finally able to break away from you. The biggest mistake of my life was you Yoon Doojoon and I finally felt happy again after leaving you,” Sunggyu was shaking now after pouring out his anger that he had kept inside for the past year.

Doojoon smiled sadly before taking a step closer again, but this time Sunggyu didn’t move. He was so drained that he didn’t want to run away. He knew he was going to face the man sooner or later, but he didn’t think it would be now. “I did love you at first, but after a while just… Us as a couple just didn’t feel right anymore. I knew you loved me and I couldn’t make myself break up with you because I wanted to keep you around as long as I could. Even if I didn’t love you anymore I had to have you beside me. Even if we didn’t feel like a couple I pretended and treated you wrong. I’m sorry that I did those things to you because you never deserved them, but I was selfish and I was a horrible person,” Doojoon spoke honestly but Sunggyu just started to laugh.

“Sorry you did those things to me,” Sunggyu snorted before he glared at the man in front of him. “You humiliated me more than once Doojoon! Leaving me waiting for you happened at least 20 times and making fun of me in front of your friends happened more than once. You would abuse me when you were drunk and take me without my approval,” Sunggyu tried to control his anger, but it all came pouring out. He laughed again with tears in his eyes.

“I was so blind back then. I really loved you and I thought that maybe this is just a passing phase and you would realize what you did and apologize, but you never did. I had to keep everything as a secret and pretend to smile with my friends even though I was breaking inside. Finally when Dongwoo came to see me and saw me crying after you abused me I told him everything. He said that I had to leave you right that moment and never look back again. He told me to sue you, but I never could because I loved so much…” Tears were falling from Sunggyu’s eyes now as he looked at Doojoon.

“You have no right to come and see if I’m okay because I was okay just before I saw you. I felt so free and you had to come and remind me of all the horrible things that you did. When I said I wanted you out of my life I meant it and I won’t take back those words. Now please leave before I call the police…” Sunggyu was panting now after pouring out all of his frustration and displeasure about their relationship.

Doojoon sighed and looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry… I really am, Sunggyu-yah,” He took steps closer to Sunggyu and stood right in front of him, feeling the other man’s heavy breathing against his shoulder before he wrapped his arms around him. Just when he was about to tighten his hold and Sunggyu was squirming from his grasp someone pulled him away from the back of his shirt. “What the…” He was about to finish his sentence before he felt a fist hit him right in his left cheek. He stumbled back and held his cheek before looking at the person who hit him.

Woohyun was panting and shielding Sunggyu away from Doojoon who could only let out a chuckle and look at the two. “Look who we have here well isn’t it Nam Woohyun. What brings you here my dear dongsaeng? I was actually in a middle of something with my ex-boyfriend and I would like to finish what I was about to say,”

Doojoon took a step closer to Woohyun and Sunggyu when the younger man shielded the other behind his back. “Leave now hyung before I hit you again. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with you so I hope you just go,” Woohyun clenched his teeth and held his hand in a fist by his side to take another swing at the other man.

Sunggyu walked in front of Woohyun and looked at Doojoon. “Just go Doojoon-ah and never appear in front me again. Come on Woohyun let’s go,” Sunggyu started to walk over to his apartment building before Doojoon caught up with him and held his wrist. “No, I’m not going anywhere. What is your relationship with Woohyun, huh? I know he’s the judge in the program you were in, but how come you’re this close for him to defend you like this? Are you two dating?” Doojoon chuckled before Sunggyu yanked his arm away, glaring at the other. “We’re just friends and now go before I really call the police for harassment,”

Woohyun caught up with Sunggyu and went inside with him before looking behind at Doojoon who seemed really angry. They got upstairs and Sunggyu let him in, removing his shoes before going to the living room to have a glass of whiskey. He poured himself a glass before sitting down on the couch and taking a sip. Woohyun poured himself a glass as well before sitting down next to Sunggyu, turning to his direction.

“I suppose you don’t want to talk about what happened just now? I just got there before he hugged you and I grabbed him away and hit him…” Woohyun was about to say something more before Sunggyu spoke over him. “We dated for two years and broke up a year ago. For the last year of our relationship he treated me really badly. I don’t want to go into details. I had already forgotten about them before I saw him again, but let’s just say that my relationship with him was not something I would treasure in my heart for a lifetime…” Sunggyu spoke the words sadly before downing down the whiskey in his glass.

“I really trusted him. He was everything I had back then. I was on the top of my career and I was so lonely. He never found out that I was SG, but watching him promoting as Beast made me really envious of him. I thought that maybe if we get close he’ll let me in the circles and make contacts, but he never did. He would rather keep me inside four walls just for him to pleasure…” A lump got stuck in Sunggyu’s throat and tears started to fall again. He covered his face partly with his hand before he let out a sob.

Woohyun put down his glass and wrapped his arms around Sunggyu, holding him close and rocking him in his arms. “Shh it’s okay. It’s all in the past isn’t it? You don’t need to think about those memories again. It’s okay… I’m here…” Woohyun whispered his soothing words in the older man’s ear and kept holding him. Sunggyu wrapped his arms around the younger man as well and held onto him. They stayed in each other’s arms for a while before Woohyun broke away first, wiping away the falling tears and tearstains.

Sunggyu smiled a little while he watched Woohyun drying his tears and he saw something in the other man’s eyes. It was affection. It was love what he saw and it made his heart beat faster. He looked into Woohyun’s eyes and the younger looked at him with a confused face before Sunggyu leaned closer to capture their lips in a sweet kiss. Woohyun closed his eyes and returned the kiss immediately, cupping Sunggyu’s cheek before he pressed their lips more tightly together.

Without even realizing their kiss started to heat up and Woohyun pressed Sunggyu down to the couch, his hand resting on the other man’s hip. They broke away for a moment to look into each other’s eyes and a smile broke on their faces. They looked at each other for a moment before Sunggyu reached out his hand to touch Woohyun’s cheek and moving up to his hair, stroking it while he kept his gaze locked with the other man. “I think I’m in love with you,” He whispered weakly and it was Woohyun’s turn to tear up even if tears didn’t fall. He used his thumb to wipe below Sunggyu’s eyes, resting his hand on the side of his head.

”And I’m sorry what I said to you in the janitor’s closet. I was lying when I said I meant those words. I really didn’t and I’m sorry,” Sunggyu whispered weakly and Woohyun shushed him, smiling down at him. “I know you didn’t mean it. You were so close to letting everything out and I stupid tried to stop you. I should have just encouraged you and offer my support. I should have backed up for you,” Woohyun looked down at the man below him with glistening eyes, still smiling. “What’s important is that you’re happy with your decision and that’s what matters. If you’re happy I’m happy too… And I love you too,” Woohyun grinned before locking their lips in a kiss again.

The kiss was sweet, slow and sensual. Their hands were roaming around from their faces to necks and down to their chests and hips. Woohyun pressed himself closer which made a moan erupt between Sunggyu’s lips. They both gasped in surprise before chuckling, pecking each other’s lips. “Sorry I got carried away. I think it’s better if I just go home,” Woohyun was about to stand up before Sunggyu yanked his hand, pulling him down on top of him again. Sunggyu spoke with a glint of lust in his eyes.

“Stay… I want you to stay for the night, Woohyun…” Sunggyu gasped after he felt Woohyun touching his thigh and moving his hand further up over his stomach just next to his crotch. “I really shouldn’t. If I stay I can’t control myself,” Woohyun looked at Sunggyu who lifted his knee to brush against the younger man’s crotch, making him moan. “Who said you should control yourself? I want this Woohyun… I want you,” Woohyun sank his fingers to Sunggyu’s already disheveled hair, tugging his head backwards before he lowered his lips to the older man’s neck. He let his lips slightly hoover over the skin there and it brought Sunggyu to goose bumps, making him shiver and pant.

“I’m going to make you mine, hyung… Do you want that?” Woohyun breathed against Sunggyu’s neck which made him gasp again and nod his head. “Yes, I want you so bad…” That it was all it took to Woohyun lose control. He started to kiss Sunggyu’s neck while his other hand played with the buttons of Sunggyu’s shirt before starting to undo them one at a time. Sunggyu gasped when the chilly air hit with his bare skin when the shirt came undone. He sank his fingers to Woohyun’s hair before he pulled the younger’s face away from his neck, pulling him down for a sloppy yet passionate kiss.

“Let’s go to the bedroom…” Sunggyu whispered breathlessly, making a move to stand up. Woohyun pushed his body flush against his, their chests so close to each other they could almost feel how madly their hearts were beating. Woohyun pecked Sunggyu’s lips before he stood up, holding his hand up as a command to stay seated. He thought he should do some foreplay before they moved over to the bedroom and he bit his lips as he stood in front of Sunggyu, undoing his buttons too one by one before he revealed his nicely sculpted chest. He threw away the shirt before he tugged Sunggyu up to stand in front of him.

“Take off my pants…” He said his tone low and husky, dripping with lust. Sunggyu gulped the lump in his throat as he tried to calm down his shaking hands, hastily moving his hands to Woohyun’s pants button and zipper. He let his fingers ghost over the waistband, gently touching the skin there and it made the younger man gasp. Sunggyu knelt in front of the other before he undid the button and zipper nice and slow, making the pants drop on the floor. Woohyun stepped out of them before kicking them somewhere behind him, lifting Sunggyu’s chin to make him look at him in the eye.

“I think someone wants to play with you,” Sunggyu lowered his gaze over Woohyun’s boxers and noticed the growing problem there. He bit his lip before he gasped when he freed the younger man’s hard cock from the tight boxer briefs, pulling down the last item of clothing before the other stepped out of them too, standing naked in front of Sunggyu with his breath shallow and taking short intakes of air. Sunggyu felt a smirk rise on his lips before he licked his lips and wrapped his fingers around the pulsing flesh.

Woohyun could have shouted if he wanted because Sunggyu’s hand on his member felt so good. He gasped when the older man started to stroke him, fastening his pace every passing moment. He sank his fingers to the other’s hair and massaged his scalp, also silently ushering him to take it into his mouth. Sunggyu noticed the look on Woohyun’s face before he leaned down to give his cock a teasing lick. The younger gasped and breathed out a faint ‘Sunggyu please’ before he closed his eyes and threw his head back.

Sunggyu stood up suddenly before he crashed his lips on the other man’s, kissing him passionately and with need. He needed things to go a lot faster and he was getting impatient. Woohyun though thought otherwise. He gasped when he felt Sunggyu’s lips on his, but returned the kiss. He started to undress the other man as he removed the already opened shirt from him, moving his hasty hands to Sunggyu’s jeans before he got them undone. He broke the kiss before he tugged down the pants and when they were almost at the other’s knees he pushed Sunggyu down on the couch.

He removed the other’s jeans before settling himself between Sunggyu’s thighs while stroking the older man’s cock over his boxers. Sunggyu could only throw his head back and try to contain his voice as the feeling was so overwhelming. Woohyun wasn’t pleased as he didn’t hear anything so he tugged the waistband before freeing Sunggyu’s pulsing member, giving it a few test strokes before taking the tip to his mouth and giving it short but firm sucks. Sunggyu gasped this time and grabbed the couch behind him, starting to pant again as he tried to hold his hips from bucking up to the other’s mouth.

Woohyun smiled before he took the length in his mouth, sucking it a few times before he started to stroke the flesh along with his sucks. Sunggyu was squirming and already so close to his release. He didn’t even realize how a person can turn him on so badly without him even realizing it until this moment and how fast it’s bringing him to the edge. “Woohyun… I’m coming,” he could warn just a few moments before he shot his cum into Woohyun’s mouth. The younger man looked smug as he swallowed everything and licked his lips, making Sunggyu groan from the sight.

Woohyun stood up before sitting on the other’s lap, wrapping his arms around Sunggyu’s neck and looking at the other in the eyes. “I want to take you now. I can’t control myself anymore,” he grinned down at the other before standing up and taking Sunggyu’s hand and pulling him towards his bedroom. He walked over to the bed before he wrapped his arms around Sunggyu’s neck, pulling him down for a passionate kiss which Sunggyu returned and pushed the other down on the bed and crawling on top of him. Woohyun smirked before he quickly switched their positions, being on top.

“I’m going to take you tonight and no buts. I want to sink my cock so deep inside you you’re going to scream my name,” Woohyun breathed on Sunggyu’s lips before pecking them playfully and sitting up on his heels. “Do you have any lube?” He asked nonchalantly and Sunggyu couldn’t help but to chuckle and point at the bottom drawer of his night side table. Woohyun smiled before grabbing the tube from the drawer and sitting on Sunggyu’s hips again. He moved backwards before opening the older man’s legs, starting to kiss from Sunggyu’s ankle up to his calf to his knee and down his thighs between his legs.

Woohyun grinned widely as Sunggyu’s cock was hard again before he started to plant kisses on the other’s thighs as he poured some lube on his hand. He covered his fingers with the slick gel before poking a finger on Sunggyu’s entrance. Out of reflex the other tried to close his legs, but Woohyun kept them open, pushing his finger in as he continued to kiss the area around Sunggyu’s member. He stared to prepare slowly but almost soon after pushed in a second finger which made Sunggyu take a sharp intake of breath.

“Hurry…” Were Sunggyu’s only words he could muster and Woohyun did as he was told to. He pulled out the two fingers before pushing them back in, fastening his pace before he pushed in a third finger, making the older man groan and grab the pillow behind his head, pushing his hips further towards Woohyun who couldn’t help but to grin how eager the other one was. He quickly finished before sitting up and settling himself between the older man’s legs, covering his member with lube too. Sunggyu opened his eyes and looked up at Woohyun who was smiling at him. “Hey, you ready?” He asked softly and got a nod in return.

Woohyun guided his member inside Sunggyu slowly and both had to groan loudly before Woohyun was pushed in to the hilt. Sunggyu was gasping for air and tried to make himself more comfortable, rolling his hips a little to feel more comfortable and when he was okay enough he contracted his muscles which made Woohyun gasp. The feeling of being inside Sunggyu just felt perfect. He could spend every day like this and have no regrets. He looked down at the older man and smiled, cupping Sunggyu’s cheek before kissing him sweetly. “I’m going to start now,” He pecked Sunggyu’s lips one more time before starting to pull out and push in slowly. He quickly picked up his pace as Sunggyu was squirming under him.

Woohyun grabbed the older man’s hips and started to pull him closer with his thrusts, making the other almost scream out at the sudden change of pace. Woohyun kept thrusting faster when he felt that Sunggyu wasn’t tense anymore and held onto the other’s hips almost bruising them from grabbing them so hard. Sunggyu screamed again when Woohyun was hitting his prostate spot on several times in a row and he was getting so close again. Woohyun was at his limits as well as he tried to hold on a bit more. “Sunggyu… Come with me” He said breathlessly as he released his other hand from Sunggyu’s hip and stroked Sunggyu’s cock while thrusting.

Sunggyu lasted a few moments before he called out Woohyun’s name and released his cum on the other’s hand and on his stomach. Woohyun followed suit and snapped his hips against Sunggyu to empty himself while making the other scream when hitting his sensitive prostate. He then pulled out and collapsed on top of the other. He grinned so widely as he lied next to Sunggyu, wrapping his arm around the other’s waist, stroking the older man’s slightly plump stomach. Sunggyu couldn’t help but to smile too as he opened his eyes and turned to look at Woohyun lying next to him. He leaned down to kiss him sweetly on the lips. They shared a few kisses before looking each other in the eyes.

“I was so out of it just now that I forgot to return your words… I love you too,” Sunggyu said sweetly and Woohyun cupped his cheek to kiss him again. They smiled at each other before Sunggyu pulled the blanket on top of them, pulling Woohyun close to him and hugging him. “You’re going to help me do the laundry tomorrow,” Sunggyu groaned at the sticky feeling along with being slightly dirty, but Woohyun just chuckled. “Of course, I’ll even come to the shower with you,” He winked which made a chuckle erupt from Sunggyu. “Sounds good to me, now go to sleep,” Sunggyu tightened his arms around Woohyun, holding him close as he fell asleep and slept so peacefully like he hasn’t in months.


	11. 좋게 시작했던 하루 이상한 날로 변한다 (A day that started well turns to weird)

Sunggyu woke up first to the sun shining behind his curtains and he groaned as he shielded his eyes from the blinding sun. He started to stretch himself before he felt someone next to him. When he realized that it was Woohyun who was still fast asleep brought a wide smile on his lips. He turned himself on his side and moved some hair away from the younger man’s face, grinning when he saw that the other slept with a pout on his face. He leaned closer to plant a soft kiss on those pouty lips and it made Woohyun stir.

The younger was having the best dream of his life when he felt someone kiss him on the lips. He groaned in his sleepy state before opening his eyes and looking at smiling Sunggyu. He couldn’t help but to smile as well before slightly stretching his head towards the other to kiss him again. “Good morning,” he grinned before stretching too, loosening up the knots in his muscles. He raised his head to tug his hand underneath it before he looked at the other man in front of him. “Did you sleep well? Are you feeling sore?”

Sunggyu nodded with a chuckle, stroking Woohyun’s cheek before pecking his nose. “I haven’t slept this well in a long time and yeah I’m feeling a little sore. It’s because of someone who went too rough on me last night,” Sunggyu faked a pout and a pained face before letting out a small laugh, pinching Woohyun’s nose. “I’m just kidding. I was asking for it so I have to pay the price. Would you like some breakfast or do you have to go?”

Woohyun pouted at Sunggyu’s joke before laughing with him. “Yeah you asked for it so don’t come to me playing the sick puppy card. I won’t buy it,” He laughed some more before looking behind his shoulder at the bedtime clock, groaning. “I would love to stay for breakfast, but I have schedule in two hours and my manager is probably at my house already. I better call him and say to fetch me somewhere near here,” Woohyun groaned before sinking his head in the pillow, sighing. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you,”

Sunggyu slapped the younger on his bare bottom before standing up and getting dressed to something comfortable. Woohyun groaned before sitting up and glaring at the older man who didn’t even notice. He licked his lips when he had a good view of the other’s ass, getting up from the bed he walked over to Sunggyu before wrapping arms around him from behind. “We’ll have breakfast soon enough, okay? We should have dinner today, hm?” Woohyun kissed Sunggyu’s shoulder blades which made the other man chuckle before he turned around and cupped the younger man’s cheeks, kissing him full on the other’s lips.

“Okay we’ll have dinner today. I think I need to go and meet my company president today. It’s not going to end well I know that,” Sunggyu sighed and ruffled his hair, already nervous what is going to happen to him later. Woohyun saw how worried Sunggyu is and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him. “It will go fine. There’s plenty of agencies that are going to fight after you believe me,” Woohyun grinned before breaking away and walking to the living room to get dressed to the clothes he wore yesterday.

He got dressed in few minutes and looked over to the kitchen where Sunggyu was already making coffee, walking to him and leaning against the kitchen counter. “Tell me how it went, okay? I gotta go now,” Woohyun kissed Sunggyu’s cheek before he waved at him and went to the foyer, putting on his dress shoes and standing by the door. Sunggyu walked over and waved at the other man who waved back and left the apartment.

Woohyun closed the door after him and leaned against it, sighing when he remembered that he had a plan for Sunggyu’s future already. He took his phone from the pants pocket before calling his manager. “Hyung where are you? I didn’t have any schedules today, right? Oh right the interview. What time was it?” Woohyun checked the time on his phone when his manager told him, sighing. “Make sure that the interview ends before 5, okay? I have a meeting with the CEO today. Okay I’ll get ready and call you when I’m done,” Woohyun sighed again when he ended the call, leaving Sunggyu’s complex to walk to his own.

Sunggyu immediately felt a little empty when Woohyun left. He was used to living alone and being alone that when someone stays for the night he immediately feels like something is missing when they leave. Well Woohyun is special because he’s his boyfriend, but he felt so lonely when the other left. He would have wanted him to come and meet his CEO, but he knew he has to face him by himself. He ruffled his hair and finished his coffee before walking to the bathroom to take a shower.

Sunggyu got ready and left to the agency with his car, driving along the streets over to the agency. He parked his car at the front and exited the vehicle, noticing people’s eyes on him that were passing by. He didn’t hear what they were whispering about but out of politeness he bowed to them before entering the company. He went to the front desk removed his sunglasses. “Hi nuna, is the CEO here?” he asked gently and the girl at the front desk smiled at him before she called upstairs. She finished the short call and nodded at Sunggyu.

“You can go up he has been waiting for you. By the way I admire what you did and I’ll always support you. Fighting!” She cheered him on which brought a smile on Sunggyu’s face. “Thanks nuna,” he bowed at her before he went to the elevator and pressed the 4th floor. The wait to go up and the doors to open felt so long and painful. When the elevator finally stopped he walked over to his CEO’s office, knocking on the door and entering when he heard a reply to go in.

Kim Jongwan was watching the news from the television with a troubled expression on his face. He turned to Sunggyu when he entered the room, turning off the television and taking a seat. Sunggyu bowed at him when he entered before going to stand a few meters away from the older man. He sighed before bowing 90 degrees, his eyes to the ground. “I’m sorry…” he whispered weakly and it made the older man laugh out loud.

“Sorry? You’re sorry Sunggyu? You’ve literally humiliated me, this company and also humiliated yourself. Your name is all over the press and the news. Our management team gets constant calls about you and trying to get interviews and you’re sorry?!” he shouted at the other man and ruffled his hair. Sunggyu raised his head a little, but still looking like he was in shame. He straightened his back and looked at the intimidating man in front of him.

“I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you sajang-nim. But in my defense I need to say that you didn’t give me a choice. I asked to debut me with a face, but you refused and I needed to find a way to do it. You saw the outcome. People appreciate my talent and my looks. I came out second!” Sunggyu was frustrated that he was being treated like this when he didn’t deserve it.

“Besides… This third album was my last anyway. I didn’t have much contract left so I decided why not leave with a bang. I’m sure there’s a company that wants to take me and will give me what I desire and what I want with my career. Unlike here…” Sunggyu’s words were cut short when his head snapped to the side. Jongwan slapped him on the face hard and his cheek was burning.

“You ungrateful piece of shit! How dare you treat me like this?! I took you under my wings, raised you to be a good singer and gave you the career you wanted. This is how you want to thank me? You got to be kidding me. You’re right your contract was to end by the end of the month and I had prepared a new contract for you with better benefits, but it seems that it won’t be necessary. If you want to start from the bottom then be my guest. I’m not stopping you,” Jongwan was fuming before he took a seat again.

Sunggyu was panting from the slap he received, turning his head to look at Jongwan in front of him. Tears feared to fall from his eyes again. “I admit that what you did to me and what you gave me can never be returned in any way, but this is what I want and what I want to do. Even if it means that I need to give up everything and sing in the streets of Hongdae then so be it. I don’t regret anything. I’m sorry that I had to betray you like this and I’m sorry I came out a little wrong, but this is what I really feel…” Sunggyu sank on his knees in front of the older man, bowing his head again.

“I know this might sound crazy and you won’t agree to it, but please let me have a public interview with the press. I want to explain everything and after that interview you don’t have to take care of my matters ever again. This is all I’m asking,” Sunggyu bowed his head more, sitting on his heels in front of the man who he used to own his life to.

Jongwan sighed as he looked at Sunggyu, coming some hair away from his face before he pondered for a while. He stood up before walking to his company phone, pressing a speed dial to the management team. “Yes this is Kim Jongwan. Arrange a public interview with the press by three today. This is Sunggyu’s request so let’s just do what he wants. We’ll also cancel his contract as of today. After the interview he’s not under our agency anymore. We’ll discuss that later. Okay thank you,” he ended the call and let out a deep sigh before sitting in front of Sunggyu. “Stand up…”

Sunggyu stood up and looked at Jongwan in the eyes in slight shock. He believed that he wouldn’t do anything for him when he betrayed him like this. Jongwan looked at Sunggyu and took a deep breath. “I admire your passion, Sunggyu. I always admired it when you entered our company. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t angry with you, but I’m also slightly relieved. When you first asked me to debut you with a face I didn’t know what to do,”

Jongwan rubbed his forehead before chuckling a little. “I worked so hard along with the staff to protect you and when you backstabbed me like this I felt like you shot a bullet right through me. If you shot a bullet through me it would be self-defense and I kind of deserve it. I hope you know what you’re doing,” he stood up and walked over to Sunggyu, extending his hand.

“Management team will contact you sometime next week about the first payment on your last album. Of course if it continues to sell you’ll receive a payment on it once a month until you find an agency that will pay you instead of us. Take care Sunggyu,” Sunggyu shook the hand in front of him and bowed a few times, saying thank you. Jongwan patted his back before hearing a knock on the door and asking the person to enter.

Park Minwoo, manager of the management team entered the room and smiled at Sunggyu, keeping the door open. “I called the press and they’ll arrive to the location in an hour. Let’s go Sunggyu,” Sunggyu bowed at Jongwan one final time and smiled at him. “Thank you for everything. I’ll never forget this part of my life and I hope that the new phase I’m starting will go on well. Call me when you need someone to have a drink with. I’ll come anytime,” Sunggyu nodded at Minwoo who nodded back and they left the room, moving over to the location of the interview.

Sunggyu was rubbing his hands together when he waited his que to get behind the table and answer the questions the press had for him. He had messaged Woohyun just before and told him what happened. The younger replied back that he was relieved that everything went well in the end, saying they should celebrate later today. Sunggyu chuckled at the celebration word since there was really nothing to celebrate. He just lost his job so to say.

Park Minwoo walked over to Sunggyu and rested a hand on his shoulder, smiling at him. “It’s time now. Go ahead,” he ushered Sunggyu on and he bowed a thank you before walking in front of the press. The moment he stepped out the flashes were so blinding he hardly could keep his eyes open, but this is something he needs to get used to. He bowed before taking a seat in front of the microphones placed on the desk.

Lee Soojin, a reporter from Joongang Daily was the first to stand up and make a question. Sunggyu’s eyes were on her when she spoke. “Sunggyu-sshi, what made you make a decision like this?” Sunggyu smiled to himself a little before looking at everyone in front of him. “I’m grateful to Nell Entertainment that took me under their wings and raised me to be a good singer, but my career was always lacking. Being anonymous was something I first wanted, but after I completed my third album I wanted something more. It’s not fame that I want, but a stage to sing on. That’s what made me audition for the show. I wanted to stand on a stage to sing in front of people,”

Kim Jinsoo, a news reporter from SBS was second to stand up to make a question. “Sunggyu-sshi, fans reaction to this news is both good and bad. What do you have to say for your fans that supported you before coming out?” Sunggyu sighed as he knew this question was going to come out. He took a deep breath before looking at the reporter with a kind smile. “Thank you for supporting me by buying my albums even though you didn’t know my face. I’m always grateful to those who bought my music, listened to it and showed love towards it. I hope that from now on I get to thank my fans personally through concerts, music shows and fan meetings. I also hope that you’re not too disappointed by my visuals,” he finished with a soft chuckle that made the press laugh along with him.

Oh Junhee, a tabloid reporter from Dispatch stood up after and smiled at Sunggyu before making her question. Sunggyu felt a little uneasy, because Dispatch is known for their scandals and tough articles. “Sunggyu-sshi, is it true that you used to date Yoon Doojoon from Beast? He updated his Twitter last night with a message saying: I really did love you SG. To me it sounds like a confession of some sort. Is this true?” Sunggyu had to swallow the lump in his throat and he turned to Minwoo for a cue to answer that question and he just mouthed ‘it’s your decision’ before offering a soft smile.

Sunggyu took a deep breath before looking at the reporter. “I’m not sure if he’s comfortable of me answering this for him, but what is true that we were really close few years ago, but it didn’t work out in the end. I suppose seeing me on TV brought some memories back and that’s why he wrote like that,” Sunggyu felt relieved when the reporter bought his answer. He didn’t say a yes or no to her question, but it passed.

Minwoo came forward and shouted that there were only two questions left. Kwak Dongjin, a news reporter from KBS was next to make a question. Sunggyu offered a warm smile to him which brought a smile to the reporters face as well. He was obviously a fan Sunggyu could tell. “Sunggyu-sshi, what are your plans for the future? Have you received any contacts from agencies yet?” Sunggyu chuckled a bit at the last question, but kept on smiling.

“Well I just revealed myself yesterday. No there isn’t any contact from other agencies yet and I don’t plan on making any decisions so soon, but I’m waiting offers right now. I’m not sure about the plans yet. Probably after I find an agency I hope to make new music that I can present to everyone, but it might take a while,” Sunggyu looked towards the last reporter that stood up from the crowd.

Cha Wonshik, a reporter from 10asia magazine was the last to make a question. “Sunggyu-sshi, any last words you want to say to your fans or anyone?” Sunggyu smiled even though he was close to tears. This was really the end of the first phase in his career and he’s starting a new one. All memories and thoughts kept running through his head just now. Sunggyu cleared his throat before he started to speak.

“I want to thank my friends for their support and helping me through the tough times I had. I want to thank my fans that believed in my music and a thank you to all of the supporters that voted for me. I’m sure that most of you were disappointed, but I hope that you remember that when I performed I was Kim Sunggyu and not SG. SG is the hidden singer with me behind the name and the voice, but I’m here in front all of you as Kim Sunggyu, the man behind that name and that voice. I hope you support my future projects and future releases. I’ll work hard not to disappoint you. And also last I want to thank someone really special that is close to my heart for the encouraging words and support I received. I hope you continue to stay beside me in times to come. Thank you all for coming and listening to me,” Sunggyu stood up from his chair before bowing in front of the cameras. He kept bowing for a while before he straightened his back and walked off while waving at the press.

He moved to the back of the restaurant where the interview was held and tried to calm his breathing. This was it. He’s now a free man. He was just about to call Dongwoo when he received a call from a number he didn’t recognize. He swiped the screen to answer the call and placed the device on his ear. “Yes hello?” He answered and waited for the other one in the line to answer him back.

“Hello Kim Sunggyu-sshi. This is CEO Lee Jungyeop from Woollim Entertainment. I was hoping if you have time right now? We’re interested in making a contract with you. Could you come to our office? You don’t need to decide anything yet just come and we can talk about the contract I have prepared for you,” Sunggyu was flabbergasted by the call he just picked up. He didn’t think he would get a call this fast.

“I’m sorry but this is a little sudden. I wasn’t waiting for any calls from agencies yet,” Jungyeop chuckled in the other side before he continued. “I’m sure you don’t realize yet that there are agencies that are after you already. Just come over and you can think about this, okay?” Sunggyu was still a bit blown away, nodding to himself. “Alright give me an hour. Send me the address and I’ll be there as soon as I can,”

Jungyeop looked at Woohyun beside him before answering to Sunggyu. “Great! I’ll send you the address right away. I’ll see you soon,” he ended the call before quickly sending Sunggyu the address. He turned to Woohyun next to him and sighed. “Do you really want to do this? I mean I had my eyes on him when I saw him perform live yesterday, but what is the reason to work this fast?” Woohyun sighed and ruffled his hair a little.

“I just want him to start anew as quickly as possible. Thank you sajang-nim,” Woohyun smiled widely at his CEO who just shook his head at his artist’s happiness. He had a feeling that there was something more to Woohyun’s story, but didn’t want to bribe more into it.

Sunggyu looked dumbly at his phone before he got the text. He read the address and started to walk to his car he left at the back, buckling himself up before he started the car and started to ride off. He had a strange feeling about this that he just couldn’t point out, but maybe it was nothing at all. He’ll see if his hunch is right when he gets there. What is really going on?


	12. 나를 위해 아무것도 하지마… (Don’t do anything for me…)

Sunggyu drove over to Woollim Entertainment and got out from the car after parking it on the side of the building. He walked inside over to the front desk on the first floor, greeting the lady sitting behind the counter. “Hello, I’m Kim Sunggyu and I’m here to see CEO Lee Jungyeop. I just received a call to meet him here,” he waited when she speed dialed the CEO upstairs; ending the call almost as soon she made it. She stood up and smiled to Sunggyu, showing the direction with her hands. “Just go that way to the elevators. He’ll meet you in his office on the 3rd floor. He’s already waiting for you,” Sunggyu gave a polite bow before walking to the elevators.

He rode the elevator up and just when he was stepping out he saw Woohyun waiting for him. He smiled at Sunggyu before showing the way. “What are you doing here?” Sunggyu was shocked and it was evident in tone when he made the question. The younger stopped just outside the door and turned to Sunggyu with a smile. “I’m managed by Woollim Entertainment if you didn’t remember. Our CEO had his eyes on you when he saw you on TV and I told him to contact you. Don’t worry, okay?” Woohyun smiled and opened the door after knocking on it.

Lee Jungyeop stood up from behind his desk, smiling at Woohyun and walking over to Sunggyu to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you Sunggyu, Woohyun has told me a lot about you,” he smiled warmly before taking a seat on the armchair when Woohyun and Sunggyu sat on the couch just next to the CEO. Sunggyu turned to look at Woohyun. “Why are you still here by the way?” Woohyun bit his lip before he scratched the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly.

“Well… If I’m totally honest this was my idea. It’s true that our CEO had his eyes on you when he saw you on TV, but I speeded things up a little. I mean if you take on this deal we will be under the same company, isn’t that great?” Woohyun was smiling so happily, but Sunggyu was getting irritated. “Just because you want me in the same company as you without considering my thoughts or my wishes is okay for you?” Sunggyu was getting pissed off. He was hoping to sign with bigger labels like Loen, but Woollim? Sure Woohyun was popular, but he wasn’t a mega star that other labels could make him.

Woohyun sighed and looked at Sunggyu. “Just listen to what we prepared for you, okay?” Jungyeop sighed as well and took the papers from the table, giving them to Sunggyu. “The basic contract is similar to all artists out there so there’s nothing out of the ordinary. Profit is given according to the release. If it’s an album singer gets 20 % profit, if it’s a digital single then only 10 % and for personal schedules like TV or magazine photo shoots the profit is 100 %. This means the singer gets all profit without any of it going to the company. In case of commercial deals singer’s profit is 90%. As for concerts and other paid public appearances the profit is 25% or depending according to the situation same goes for merchandise sales. The length of the contract is 3 years. I shortened the time because you’ve already been in the industry for 4 years so I needed to take that to consideration. Woohyun’s contract is 6 years where 4 years are left at the moment. How does this sound for now?”

Sunggyu looked at the contract and was reading through it. He bit his lip and raised his eyes from the paper to look at the CEO. “What about releases? Have you planned something already?” Jungyeop smiled since Sunggyu seemed to have relaxed a little. “Well we haven’t thought far since this was kind of sudden, but we can produce a mini album or a single album by first quarter of next year. Since its October January sounds good to me or February the latest. Of course we’ll try to get you TV appearances and you’ll perform in music shows. And then I was thinking of having a concert by May and maybe a full album in the fall around September. These can change of course depending on the company’s situation so I need you to understand that schedules are not certain, but I promise we’ll do something at least. How’s that?”

Sunggyu looked at the papers once more and when he was reading through the contract he noticed something wasn’t there. “There isn’t a dating ban stated here. So if I want to date I can date?” Jungyeop smiled and turned to Woohyun who looked a little nervous. “I know about you two so I had it erased from the contract. Normally our artists have a dating ban for two years and Woohyun just got his erased so you two are excluded,” Sunggyu’s eyes widened and he looked at Woohyun in shock. “You told him about us?!” Woohyun winced and looked at Sunggyu pitifully.

“I need to tell Jungyeop and my manager everything. If a scandal breaks out it’s easier for the company to help me when they know what is going on. So I had to tell him about you too and that we’re seeing each other,” Woohyun bit his lip as he thought if he should say more than he already he said. He swallowed the lump in his throat before he continued.

“Actually Jungyeop knows that we started seeing each other almost ever since I met you personally…” Sunggyu was fuming right now and he stood up after slamming the papers on the table. He started pacing in front of the CEO and Woohyun. “So he knows you put me through in the competition because I asked you to?” Sunggyu asked from Woohyun who nodded his head and looked down at his feet in shame. Jungyeop cleared his throat to get Sunggyu’s attention before he spoke.

“I totally understand Woohyun. I mean he told me everything from the very beginning. He told me he was your fan and when you two met he instantly liked you and promised to help you fulfill your dream. I don’t see anything wrong with it since from what I heard you were praised by the other judges too. So basically Woohyun just went along with them. He didn’t do anything wrong, Sunggyu. He was just trying to help you and in the end he didn’t even need to do that much. You did it all by yourself. I need to know everything so I can protect you both like Woohyun said. I was actually suggesting that if it’s okay he should move to the same apartment complex as you so no suspicion will arise. What do you think about that?”

Sunggyu was glaring at Woohyun who lowered his eyes like a puppy that just got kicked. “What if we break up? What will happen then? If we’re in the same company we need to see each other and work together? I’m sorry but I don’t think I can sign with you…” Woohyun’s eyes widened and he stood up quickly, rushing over to Sunggyu and taking his hands. “Sunggyu please, it’s better if you’re here. Don’t you understand that we’ll be protected and I’ll even move closer to you to avoid any rumors…?” Woohyun’s words were cut short when Sunggyu yanked his hands from Woohyun’s and took a step back.

Sunggyu shook his head and ruffled his hair, pacing again because of the bubbling rage inside him. “This is too much too soon. We haven’t even been together that long and you’re already moving in as my neighbor? We can’t even go outside together because it’ll raise suspicion that you helped me in the competition. What judge gets close to the contestants in the program? We need to keep low profile for a while,” Woohyun took Sunggyu’s hand and pulled him closer to him, stopping him from moving.

“Fine if that’s what you want we’ll keep low profile and we can think about the moving later as well, but please Sunggyu this is a good opportunity for you. Woollim is a rising name in the entertainment industry. We’re getting new trainees every month that want to come and debut under our company and we’ve already expanded to actors and entertainers as well. Our company might not be big like SM or YG, but that doesn’t make us any poorer compared to them. Besides here you can make the music that you love. If you go to a bigger company they have their own style they follow. You’re free here…” Woohyun tried to make Sunggyu understand and the older man turned to Woohyun when he was talking, listening to what he had to say.

Sunggyu sighed and pulled Woohyun along with him to sit down next to Jungyeop. “Can I think about it for a few days? I’ll give you a call when I’ve decided,” Jungyeop smiled at Sunggyu with a nod. “Of course you can and take the contract with you if there’s something you want to change there. There’s something you need to know as well. This is the first time I’m trusting Woohyun when choosing a new member to our agency. I know you can be something Sunggyu and you need to trust me and our team to bring back your fame. We’ll do what we can to make you sing on a big stage again. Think about this and give me a call,” Sunggyu stood up and extended his hand which the CEO took and shook it, bowing a little as well.

Woohyun stood up and bowed at the CEO before he started to show the way out for Sunggyu. They got to the elevators when Sunggyu turned to Woohyun. “I appreciate the effort you did Woohyun, but don’t ever do anything for me again. I can manage on my own, you know. I don’t need your pity anymore. I got to where I wanted and I should be able to do everything on my own from now on,” Sunggyu sounded upset still and Woohyun couldn’t help but to sigh and look at Sunggyu desperately when stepping into the elevator.

“Don’t you understand that if you sign a contract with another company you need to tell them about us? To which they’ll most likely tell you to break up with me when we could be together here? Jungyeop is totally okay with this. Do you think other companies are going to accept this?” Woohyun turned Sunggyu to look at him when the older man was avoiding his gaze.

Sunggyu sighed and looked at Woohyun. “Then if they don’t agree with it then there’s nothing I could do about it. This is the entertainment business Woohyun. Just because you want to be with someone doesn’t mean that you can date them or be a couple. You don’t have the power to make your own decisions…” Woohyun was pulling at his hair now before letting out a groan and looking at Sunggyu, being clearly upset before he pulled the older man from the elevator and dragged him to an empty office.

“So this means that if another agency contacts you you’ll rather sign with them than us? Weren’t you listening to what I just said to you in the office? You’re free here. You can make the music you want and we’ll support you. They allow us as a couple and they’re ready to make exceptions and new plans because of this. Don’t you understand what I was able to do for you?! What I was able to do for us?! Is it wrong that I want us to be together and stay beside you? Why is it so hard to understand what I did for you?!” Woohyun was fuming now and he was upset because Sunggyu was being so ungrateful to him. Ever since he left the apartment that morning he spent time talking to the CEO on the phone and telling him what he wanted to do and yet this is the reaction he gets.

Sunggyu sighed and took a deep breath to calm down, but it was getting hard for him to contain his anger and his feelings. “Just like I said a moment ago you didn’t have to do anything for me! I would have managed this all by myself and tried to look for a solution by myself if nothing worked. I don’t need your pity, Woohyun!” Woohyun couldn’t help but to snort at Sunggyu’s comment, looking at him with evident hurt in his eyes.

“I’m not trying to pity you. I’m trying to make a better future for you because I love you! Is it wrong to prepare the best for the person you love?! Damn it Sunggyu you’re so selfish. Why can’t you just be happy what I did for you and accept it? Is it that hard to accept something I did for you?” Woohyun was fuming now along with Sunggyu and he was getting irritated at the older man’s comments about him helping him out of pity.

Sunggyu sighed and looked at Woohyun, trying to say something but nothing came out. Woohyun saw the older man’s worried expression and seemed like he didn’t have anything to say. “Do you realize what I mean? This is not just better for me but for you as well. If you don’t want my help anymore then I won’t do anything. You make the decision on your own then. Call me when you’ve made your decision…” Woohyun walked out from the room and slammed the door closed behind him, tears falling the moment he got away from Sunggyu. He was so upset that he was treated like this.

Woohyun didn’t deserve this. He was just doing what he thought was best for Sunggyu and making it easier for him to start again. He was so sure that other agencies might not even be interested in him so if he doesn’t take this deal and no one contacts him then he’s on his own. Woohyun was so upset that Sunggyu would take his actions as a sign of pity when it was the other way around. If Woohyun pitied Sunggyu he wouldn’t even do this, but contact all agencies on Sunggyu’s behalf and try to get a deal with them, but he was trying to get Sunggyu to Woollim so they could stay together. He did this because he loves him and he hoped Sunggyu understood his heart now.

Sunggyu sighed and sat on a chair behind him just for a moment to take a deep breath and turn back to what just happened. It made him realize what a jerk he was and how the younger didn’t deserve to be treated like this. He groaned and cursed quietly before standing up and leaving the empty office, exiting the building to go to his car. He got to his car and unlocked the doors, opening the driver’s door but before he got in he looked over his shoulder at the building and noticed Woohyun’s shadow by the window on the second floor.

He didn’t even realize that Woohyun is basically chained to either be at home or at the office when he’s not having a schedule because he’s a public figure. Sunggyu bit his lip and looked away, feeling his chest clenching and making him feel like he can’t breathe. He was so stupid that he didn’t even think about the younger man’s feelings. Woohyun was right he was selfish for thinking about himself right now. Sunggyu hated himself so much at that moment.

He took his cellphone from his pocket before he unlocked the screen and was about to send a message to Woohyun, but decided otherwise. He called the younger man instead and waited for a while before the line opened and Woohyun answered. “Did you make your decision this fast?” Woohyun’s voice was filled with bitterness and it hurt him so much. Sunggyu raised his gaze back to the window where he saw Woohyun just now and there he was, looking at him. Sunggyu could hear that the other man had been crying, his voice was little raspy.

“I’m sorry Woohyun-ah… I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize anything until now… I’m sorry,” Sunggyu was pleading quietly, trying to hold the tears in as he was apologizing. He took a deep breath as he kept looking at Woohyun. Woohyun sighed on the other side and turned his back at Sunggyu, trying to hold his tears as well. “You realize that if you don’t take this deal it’s over between us. We can’t date in secrecy either because if the other company doesn’t know about us they can’t protect us. We have no other choice, Sunggyu… You just confessed to me this morning that you love me. Where did those words disappear? I thought you would be happy what I did for you. I did this because I love you… I thought you love me too…” Woohyun was breaking to tears and he couldn’t hold them anymore as he covered his mouth to let out a sob.

Sunggyu heard the sob and let his own tears fall freely. He turned his back to the building and leaned against his car, trying to hold himself up. “I know… I’m sorry…” He could only whisper and wait for Woohyun’s reply. “Sorry is not enough Sunggyu… If you want us to be together you know what to choose. Make your decision…” Woohyun hang up the line on Sunggyu and it made the older even weaker. He got inside the car and threw his phone somewhere on the seat next to him or on the floor. He didn’t even care where it went. He started the car and wiped the tears from his eyes before he went to the only place he would be able to let everything out.

Woohyun hang up the call and quickly hid himself in the vocal practice room next to him, locking the door and sliding against it onto the floor. He broke down completely and sobbed loudly; beating his chest with his fist to ease his feeling a little, but it didn’t change anything. He was being cruel, but they don’t have any other choice but those two. Either Sunggyu joins Woollim and they can be together or Sunggyu joins another agency and it’s over for them. He didn’t want to do this to him, but he knows how cruel the field can be.

He heard from his staff that there was a male couple between idol group members and when their companies found out about them they broke them apart. Woohyun later found out that the other man was his best friend. He didn’t even know he was gay or in a relationship. He felt so betrayed, but he had to watch from the side how his friend crumbled to pieces. It wasn’t easy for him to watch how love can break someone so badly or how people can be so cruel to break two loving human beings apart.

He sobbed even louder when he thought what will happen to him if Sunggyu doesn’t choose him. He feels so naïve for falling in love so easily and falling so deep so fast. He has been in love before, but it was before he debuted so he didn’t need to feel any pressure, but now heartache felt more painful than ever. He wouldn’t have to go this far if they were just normal citizens and oh how he wished he was not a celebrity right now. He didn’t have to hurt himself or Sunggyu this much. He could only hope for the better.

Sunggyu drove to the only place where he would let everything out and decided to go to Dongwoo’s and Hoya’s restaurant. He parked his car just near and saw Dongwoo cleaning the tables, running to the other man before wrapping his arms around him and letting out a sob. “Dongwoo… I’m so lost…” Dongwoo was immediately taken back by Sunggyu’s sudden appearance and his breakdown. He gently rubbed the older man’s back and sighed. “Hyung” Sunggyu sobbed against Dongwoo’s shoulder and had a hard time to speak.

Dongwoo broke away from Sunggyu and wiped his tears, rubbing his arms. “Tell me what’s going on, Sunggyu-hyung…” Sunggyu looked at the younger man before more tears fell from his eyes. “Woohyun…” Dongwoo’s looked at Sunggyu and nodded at his words, trying to figure out what the other was trying to say. “He’s the judge from the audition program who said would help you. So?” Sunggyu tried to swallow the lump in his throat before he continued.

“I love him… I fell in love with him, but he’s… He got me a deal from his agency so we can be together, but if I decide not to sign with them we have to break up. He said that we can’t be protected if we’re not together. His agency is cool about us as a couple and gave us their blessing, but if I get a deal from another agency and I want to sign with them it’s over between us. He said we can’t date in secrecy either because if a scandal breaks we can’t be protected. What is he trying to tell me really?” Dongwoo made Sunggyu sit down before taking a seat himself. He sighed before taking Sunggyu’s hand.

“What he’s trying to say is that you have a blessing from his company, but if you go somewhere else the blessing is not there. The other company will break you two apart if they find out and you can’t date in secret because the blow from the normal citizens will be severe. It can cost you a lot if your agency doesn’t protect you,” Dongwoo said softly and Sunggyu sniffled as he took tissues from the table, wiping his tears.

“Can’t you see Sunggyu what he did for you? He obviously did it because he loves you. I mean if he didn’t love you I bet he would have just let you be after helping you. He’s right, hyung. Hoya and I had our own taste of fame back in the day and it was hard for us. We liked each other a lot, but we were scared of the public eye. Korea is still not very open for gay relationships and you know that. If news got out about us the public would have turned their backs on us. I want you to be happy hyung. After Doojoon…” Sunggyu glared at Dongwoo which quieted him down, regretting his words immediately.

“What I mean is that he’s not living an easy life. He’s already on the edge just because he wants to be with you. If you don’t want to be in the same agency then you know what to do, but I doubt that you can break up with him, right?” Sunggyu nodded and was about to cry again which Dongwoo immediately sensed and stood up to hug the other man. “Besides what difference does it make which agency makes a deal with you? You’re still SG or Kim Sunggyu. I bet if they’ve taken a huge liking to Woohyun they’ll treat you well. Trust me,” Dongwoo grinned widely before patting Sunggyu’s back and going to the fridge, showing Sunggyu a bottle of soju.

“Do you want a drink?” Sunggyu shook his head and smiled at Dongwoo. “No thanks. I’ll come another time and we should have dinner together with Woohyun. I need to go to him and apologize,” Dongwoo put the bottle away and walked back to Sunggyu, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “Relationship is about talking, making compromises and also listening to one another, hyung. Now go to your boyfriend,” He grinned widely and walked Sunggyu to his car, waving when the older man drove off.

Dongwoo walked back into the restaurant and saw Hoya there, gasping after being scared like that. “When did you come?” Hoya chuckled and walked over to Dongwoo, hugging him tightly before kissing his cheek. “Just now…” Dongwoo glared at Hoya who laughed. “Okay I was listening ever since Sunggyu-hyung got here. He’s having it tough I can tell. You’re a really good a giving advices, babe,” Dongwoo giggled and cutely pushed the other before running away, obviously embarrassed. Hoya just laughed and went to the kitchen to prepare for tonight.

Sunggyu drove over to Woohyun’s place and sighed as he was thinking what to do. The younger is probably not home yet, but he decided to do little things to make up what he did earlier that day. He went to the nearest florist and bought a bouquet, going over to Woohyun’s lovelapartment before he hanged it outside his door. He took a card from his pocket before writing a message on it that said: ‘I love you and I want us to be together. I’m sorry for what I said and I hope you’re not mad at me. Call me when you see this. I miss you already…’ Sunggyu left the bouquet at the door with the card before he got to his car and going back home. Now he just had to wait for Woohyun’s acceptance of his apology.


	13. 나를 믿어줘서 고맙고 사랑해… (Thanks for believing in me and I love you)

Sunggyu went back home and sat down on his couch while holding onto his cellphone, waiting for a call from Woohyun. He waited for the call for hours before he fell asleep while holding onto the device. He woke up the next morning with stiff shoulders and an aching back, but decided to get ready to go and meet Woohyun.

He showered and got dressed before going over to Woohyun’s place and saw that the bouquet was gone where he left it last night. It meant that the younger man did come home last night, yet he didn’t inform Sunggyu that he got it. Sunggyu sighed and pressed the doorbell once, waiting if the younger man would open the door. He waited but no one came so he pressed the doorbell again, but again no answer. Sunggyu was starting to get frustrated so he took his cellphone from his pants’ pocket and called Woohyun.

It rang for a while before someone else than Woohyun answered the phone. “Yes this is Nam Woohyun’s manager speaking,” Sunggyu was close to hanging up but he realized that Woohyun’s manager knew about their relationship. “Yes this is Kim Sunggyu. Is Woohyun available right now?”

“He’s in the middle of filming right now so he’s busy. Can I leave a message and say that you called?” Sunggyu bit his lip for a while to figure out what he should do, but decided to keep things quiet for now. “No it’s okay I’ll just call him later, thank you” Sunggyu ended the call and sighed, leaning against Woohyun’s door for a moment to think what he should do now.

The younger man obviously was waiting for him to do something and suddenly Sunggyu realized what it was. He wants Sunggyu to sign the contract before he forgives him. He knew that he loves Woohyun, but yet his dream was so big that he wanted to fulfill. If we signs with Woollim he would go back to square one instead of starting with a big company that would give him a big start. He was acting selfish again and he remembered Woohyun’s words from yesterday. He loves Woohyun and he can’t leave him now when he’s already fallen this hard and fast.

Sunggyu dialed the CEO’s number and organized a meeting to sign the contract, going to the company after ending the call. He met the CEO, signed the papers after asking a few adjustments to it before he left the office. He should feel relieved, but yet he was feeling uneasy. He thought that it was better if he meets someone from the entertainment business to talk things through. After all the contract is valid only after a few days. So Sunggyu still has a chance to change his mind.

He took his phone from his pocket again and went through his call list to find a number that was really familiar yet it has been a while since they talked to each other. He pressed the call button while walking over to his car, waiting for the other person to pick up. He listened to the calling tune playing in the background before he heard a soft ‘hello’. Sunggyu smiled widely. “Myungsoo-yah… Sorry it’s been a while since hyung called you,” Myungsoo chuckled in the other end and sighed. “Damn right it’s been weeks since you last called. I was getting worried you might have done something big or if you’re in the hospital or something. What’s up?”

Sunggyu grinned at the younger man’s words, feeling slightly relieved. “Hey listen I need to see you right now, are you free?” Myungsoo hummed in the other end while rustling some papers, obviously trying to look for his schedule for the day.

“I have a photo-shoot scheduled at 6PM so I have a few hours to spare. What is it? Can’t you talk about it over the phone?” Sunggyu let out a shaky breath while leaning against his car. “I need to talk to you about something. Something that is really important and I rather talk about it somewhere private. I’m a public figure right now, remember?”

Myungsoo let out a sound of approval and a small laugh. “Alright hyung, I’m at my studio so come here and also bring some coffee with you, okay? I’m about to fall asleep here,” The younger man moaned slightly, obviously tired. Sunggyu laughed too and nodded. “Of course I’ll be there in 30 minutes. I’ll see you in a moment,” The older man got into his car and drove off to Myungsoo’s studio in Sinsadong since Woollim was located near Hongdae so it took a while to get there.

He walked over to the entrance with two cups of coffee and rang the doorbell. Myungsoo opened the door a moment later and smiled widely at his hyung, letting him in. “What is it that you wanted to talk about? Thanks for the coffee by the way,” He snatched the other cup from the older man before taking a sip and walking over to his computer. His desk filled with pictures and more pictures, random pieces of paper and everything. It was a mess really.

Sunggyu chuckled at the younger man’s antics before he closed the door and walked over to Myungsoo, leaning against one of the tables there while drinking his coffee. “Woohyun arranged me a contract at his agency. I signed the papers today,” Myungsoo almost spit out his coffee and looked at his hyung with wide eyes.

“Woohyun got you a contract? Wow he must really like you seeing his CEO even agreed to it. Wow hyung I didn’t think you would get casted this fast. I saw the news about your expired contract with Nell Entertainment so the timing was perfect really. I mean normally artists whose contracts expire take time before announcing they’ve signed with another agency. Did they say anything if they’re going to publish news about this?” Myungsoo was scrolling through his latest pictures in his computer before he turned to look at Sunggyu who didn’t look that pleased.

“Hyung, what’s wrong? You don’t look happy to me,” Myungsoo turned his chair towards Sunggyu who kept playing with the paper cup, deep in thought. “Call me greedy but I wanted something bigger. I wanted a big agency to sign me so I could be famous…” Myungsoo snorted before looking at his hyung seriously.

“Hyung it’s okay to be greedy, but it’s never good for you. I bet you heard this already, but if you sign with a big label they’re going to chain you. They won’t allow you to do what you want. They’ll make you do the music they want and go out on shows that they have connections to. You can’t make your own choices. Between just you and me I’ve worked with lots of celebrities from the big agencies and they’re a pain in the ass to work with because they tell you what to do. You have absolutely no say in it what so ever. That’s why I love working with celebrities that come from different agencies because it’s easy to work with them. No pressure what so ever,” Sunggyu hummed in agreement before Myungsoo continued.

“Besides hyung Woohyun got you the deal. That must mean something. He obviously likes you a lot and you like him because you signed the papers. What’s the problem then? You get to be with someone you love. Even though I live with Sungjong he doesn’t always work with me and he goes abroad for fashion shows and stuff, but what makes me extremely happy is that when he comes home he comes to me. Your case is almost the same. The company knows about you two, right?”

Sunggyu nodded and managed to smile. “Yeah Woohyun told them everything and they were really supportive. The CEO even suggested that they’re going to move Woohyun to live in the same building as me or the other way around so we can live together without raising suspicion. The CEO seems to like me too and he said he was impressed in me,” Sunggyu was finally coming to his scenes as he smiled widely, but the smile dropped quickly.

“What I’m worried about is if we can last through all of this. I mean the press is going to find out about us sooner or later and then what happens is a complete blur to me. The CEO promised to protect us if something happens, but I’m still scared,” Myungsoo stood up and went to stand next to Sunggyu, stroking his back.

“That’s how it is hyung. You can never be sure of tomorrow when you’re a public figure. It can all disappear in a blink of an eye, but you have Woohyun with you like I have Sungjong. We’re dating publicly, but we still receive the disgusting stares from people who don’t support our relationship. That’s just how it is hyung and there’s nothing we can do to change that but to make people understand that our sexual orientation doesn’t change who we are as persons. It’s a tiring fight, but that other person makes it all worthwhile,” Myungsoo said with a bright smile on his face, looking at Sunggyu.

“If you’re scared of tomorrow you’re going to lose who you are and in the end it can finish you. I believe that Woollim can make you something big like you were as SG. Trust me hyung I’m hundred percent sure that this was the best choice you’ve ever made…”

 

1 year later…

 

“Kim Sunggyu! Kim Sunggyu! Kim Sunggyu!”

Sunggyu was smiling widely when he stood on the stage of SK Olympic Handball Gymnasium in front of seven thousand people after completing his last encore song for his concert, listening the crowd call out his name. In his opinion the concert’s name was really important to him; Another Me – Kim Sung Kyu. He was bowing at the cheering crowd and waving all around the hall, trying to greet everyone there. The night was especially memorable with all the guest appearances, but especially memorable was when Woohyun came out during one of his song’s as a surprise.

Sunggyu couldn’t stop smiling and he was even moved to tears when Woohyun was singing his song with so much passion and so differently from him that he was amazed. He wondered how the younger man could practice it when he was busier than Sunggyu. That day Woohyun was wearing a ring Sunggyu gave him a few weeks ago on their 1st year anniversary. As they still had an image to take care of and not making any scandals Sunggyu chose a ring that was a little plain, but still beautiful in his eyes.

He bought the same ring in different color for himself and wore it on a different finger, but they were meaningful for both of them. Sunggyu gathered himself together when he was singing the song with Woohyun, smiling the whole concert after that. He was so exhausted after practicing for the almost three-hour-long concert, but it really paid off. It was the last day out of four and all seats were sold out when the tickets came on sale. Sunggyu felt so happy and so moved that so many were still supporting him.

When Sunggyu bowed long enough and he got off from the stage Woohyun was waiting for him at the backstage, hugging him when he saw the older man. He was moved to tears as well and Sunggyu couldn’t help but to chuckle and wipe the other’s tears off. He walked with his boyfriend to the waiting room where he was removed from his stage outfit and changed to his normal clothes. He thanked everyone for their hard work and then Jungyeop came to the waiting room, congratulating Sunggyu on his successful concerts.

“I’m really proud of Sunggyu. You’ve worked really hard these past months that it’s time you take a small vacation. Why don’t you and Woohyun go somewhere?” Jungyeop was smiling widely and Sunggyu was surprised by the CEO’s words, looking at him in slight astonishment. “Really? You’re giving us a vacation?” Jungyeop nodded and looked at Woohyun who was smiling widely. “It’s just for a week though. Woohyun has to start filming for a new drama and you have musical training in two weeks so you two need to prepare yourself, okay?”

Woohyun was jumping and hugging Sunggyu tightly while giggling like a school kid. Sunggyu couldn’t help but to laugh along with him and smile. “Thank you, hyung. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and for Woohyun. I can’t thank you enough,” Jungyeop was waving his hand not to mention it and just smiled at the two younger men. “I’m just happy that I can help you as I can and you’ve done this all by yourself with your determination and hard work. You both deserve this after working so hard for a year. Have fun boys,” Jungyeop winked at the two which made the two blush in embarrassment.

Sunggyu and Woohyun went to the after party with the staff and had a fun night while drinking and eating before going back home. Sunggyu stopped by his door and Woohyun on his own just next to Sunggyu’s. They looked each other in the eyes before Woohyun opened the door first, keeping the door open. Sunggyu took the hint and smiled widely, walking over to Woohyun before going inside the younger man’s apartment. This is what they’ve basically been doing for the past 7 months. They can’t officially live together because it will raise suspicion, but living on the same floor was totally okay. The building is filled with celebrities anyway and had high security, but still they were playing it safe. They’re just neighbors to the outsiders.

Woohyun got out of his shoes with slight difficulty with all the alcohol in his system and he was about to fall before Sunggyu caught him just on time. They both started laughing at the weird situation before Sunggyu kissed Woohyun’s cheek and walked inside the apartment. First he went over to the couch and fell on it, grinning widely out of happiness. He wrapped his arms around Woohyun who came to lie on top of him, resting his head on his chest.

“Where should we go for our holiday, hyung?” Woohyun asked while playing with Sunggyu’s dinner shirt, teasingly playing with the buttons. “Hmm, I don’t know… It’s getting quite cold these days so it would be nice to go somewhere warm. It has to be far enough where we won’t be recognized too. Any ideas?” Sunggyu chuckled at the younger man’s cute teasing, taking Woohyun’s hand and kissing his fingers before holding the hand tightly.

Woohyun pondered for a while before raising his head and looking at Sunggyu. “Let’s go to Hawaii?” Sunggyu couldn’t help but to chuckle at Woohyun’s cute suggestion, kissing his nose. “Too far, anywhere else?” Woohyun wondered for a while, his face frowning in concentration. “Let’s go to Okinawa. It’s close and I doubt we’re going to run to any fans there. After all we’re not that popular in Japan,” Sunggyu chuckled again and ruffled the younger man’s hair, smiling up at him. “Okay sounds good to me,”

Sunggyu took Woohyun’s hand that had the ring on, playing with the silver band with his fingers. “I wonder what would have happened if you didn’t accept my apology a year ago. Would you have forgiven me in the end or just call it off with me…” Woohyun sat up on Sunggyu’s hips and smiled down at him, leaning in to cup Sunggyu’s cheeks.

“I would have forgiven you in the end since you chose Woollim because of me, but if you didn’t it would have been the end of us…” Woohyun sighed before smiling down at the older man, poking his nose. “I don’t want to think about the past, Gyu. It’s all behind us and we’re living the life we both wanted. You got a main role in a musical and I’m staring in a drama that I wanted to do. We live in the same building and we see each other almost every day. This is what I wanted and how I want to live. I’m happier than ever because of you…” Sunggyu cupped Woohyun’s cheeks in return and pulled the younger man down for a kiss.

They kissed slowly and passionately before Sunggyu broke the kiss and looked at Woohyun through his heavy eyelids. “I love you Nam Woohyun…” Woohyun smiled like a kid that just got his favorite toy as a present before pecking Sunggyu’s lips again. “I love you too, Kim Sunggyu…”

 

The End


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